Xora Patrone: The Journey
by Rebel666
Summary: This story follows Xora Patrone, Captain of the MSV Dolus Bia. When her parents were murdered by a biotic extremist, she dedicated her life to vengeance. But after 12 years, things take a dramatic turn and her whole world goes upside down. Coming across some familiar faces and unexpected truths, she finds herself changing everything for one turian... but was it already too late?
1. Prologue: Welcome to the MSV Dolus Bia

Prologue – Welcome to the MSV Dolus Bia

My name is Captain Xora Lee Patrone. Some people refer to me as "Z," I don't know why. I think they are doing it to irritate me, which it usually does. A friend of mine asked me to start sharing my story. They said, "You should write a book about what happened. People will want to read it." Personally, I wanted to avoid it as much as possible. Yet here I am… about to share the turning point in my life… of choices, of defeat, and of love. There's a lot you need to know about me first - like my past, my ship, and my crew. But most importantly, I need to explain my burning hatred for biotics. So let's get started.

I was born on December 9th, 2155 in the megacity of Houston. It's located in Texas of the United North American States on Earth. Houston now borders the Dallas megacity and includes San Antonio and Austin. I have a younger brother named Qwentin, born on May 31st, 2159. We only lived on Earth for a short period, moving to a subdivision on the outskirts of Scott in Terra Nova in 2162. I could see the towering capital from my bedroom window. As hard as I try so hard to forget living in Scott, the images continue to haunt me and I can still see my parent's shadows dashing across the hallway walls.

Both of our parents were biomedical engineers who worked for the Sirta Foundation, so needless to say they were very busy. Yet they would still take the day off for our birthdays, making it very special to us. We had a nanny to watch over us until I was about 12 years old. Then they counted on me to take care of Qwen. I know they loved us but we missed being with them so much. There were times Qwentin and I would wave at the building mom and dad worked in, thinking they could see us and were waving back.

Even though the time we spent with them was already scarce, they still sent us to visit our grandparents every summer break. As much as I hated being away from my folks, I actually looked forward to going back to Earth. It was where I grew a fondness for ships.

My grandfather was a mechanic for the Alliance, retiring right before the First Contact War. My grandmother spent most of her life as a nurse in one of the space stations outside Mars. One day she treated my grandfather for burns and he asked to take her out to dinner. She refused. My grandfather didn't give up. He kept coming back into the emergency room saying he had a broken heart and needed her to heal it. As tacky as it was, she finally gave in on the fourth visit. And well, you can guess the rest.

My dad kept telling me that I was the spitting image of his father, saying that I was going to grow up to be just like him. I was the only one in the family that shared his interest in ships, making us inseparable. He taught me everything I know. As soon as we arrived, he would always take me to the local boneyard. It was filled with decommissioned vessels and cannibalized hulls as far as the eye could see. So many hours were lost in exploring those rusted corpses and rebuilding destroyed engines. If we returned home covered in grease, it meant we had a good day (or a bad day for my grandmother who had to clean up after us).

Another interest we shared was the love of pulling pranks. We would gang up and harass everyone. From my grandmother and my brother at the house to the Alliance soldiers patrolling the boneyard, no one was safe. Typically our pranks were just harmless fun but there were a few that were elaborate and dangerous. I remember one time we faked an injury on my arm. We splashed faux blood all over my shirt and on the cloth wrapped around my "injury." Immediately my grandmother panicked when I was carried in. She ran around grabbing her first aid kit and all her old medical equipment. When she removed the cloth and saw nothing there, the look on her face was priceless. That was the only time I have ever seen her so furious she actually slugged my grandfather in the arm. We couldn't resist laughing even harder.

Typically I had the time of my life with my grandparents but then everything changed. In the summer of 2173, I believe I was 17 at the time, an Alliance marine showed up at the door of my grandparents. I thought he was coming to scold me for our recent prank against one of the officers at the boneyard. But the tone in his voice meant business.

After introducing himself, Captain Bennett shared with us the tragic news. A gang of biotic extremists in the Exodus Cluster attacked the Sirta Foundation building in Scott. Blowing up the seven buildings and letting the collateral fire burn the surrounding offices. Some of the crazed biotics went a step further and tortured to death some of the workers in the D-Block building, the one mom and dad worked in. He neglected to share any more details. There were a total of 1141 deaths and over 7000 wounded. The Captain advised us that many of the bodies were currently beyond recognition due to the burns. Unfortunately, they were able to identify that our parents were one of the casualties by the name badges melded onto their skin. He apologized for our loss and left.

At first I didn't believe him, hoping he had the wrong family. Desperately hoping that there was a mistake in identifying the bodies and that my parents would come in at any moment to comfort me. But when the shock sunk in, I felt myself die inside. Everything became a blur afterwards, probably from all the tears in my eyes. I remember running to the boneyard, finding refuge in the carcass of what was once an interceptor cockpit. Anytime something happened, I would isolate myself away from the world. Hiding gave me some time to reflect on the situation as well as it would prevent others from seeing me at my weakest. And the death of my parents certainly was my most vulnerable moment.

Returning back to Terra Nova was difficult. Opening the door to the house we grew up in and not seeing them there shattered me. Many of our family members offered to come raise us but I never responded to their calls or letters. I was too busy drowning in my memories, staring at photographs, seeing their shadows haunting every room in the house. Some nights I fell asleep in my parents' bed, hoping that I would wake up with them next to me. Fighting between my newfound anger for biotics and the empty void burning itself where my heart was, every day was a battle.

After rotting away for 3 months, Qwentin finally snapped. He pulled me away from my bed, yelling at me to get my life on track. He told me how he was counting on me to be his support through this and instead I was selfishly hiding myself away. I knew he was right. I wasn't exactly being the best sister. He continued on with the screaming match but I started losing interest, he made his point and I didn't feel like having it drilled into me more. I walked back to my room, this time locking the door, and crawled back under the covers.

That night I had a dream. It was actually what triggered the first series of events in my life. It showed an older version of me on a ship, in a spacious room that looked like a cargo bay. There was a woman standing in front of me. I couldn't see her clearly. All I could see was her silhouette in the blue glow of her biotic energy. Blood was dripping from her hands, creating a puddle by her feet. Right before I attacked her, I screamed, "You will pay for their deaths!" There was a battle, it seemed like it lasted for hours. The dream ended with a knife lodged into her throat and me collapsing to my knees, my hands clasping at my chest. I don't know if I made it or not, it just ended there.

When I woke up, the sun was barely coming over the horizon. I went to Qwen's room and told him about the dream. Somewhere in his groggy mumbles, he mentioned it was sign that represented a glimpse of things to be. He continued with stating that if we put our efforts together we could track down the extremists and bring them to justice. At that moment, I made Qwen a promise to avenge their deaths. Little did I know how much my promise would cost me.

The first step was to join the Alliance Marines, enlisting a month after my 18th birthday. Everyone in my family was proud of my decision but I only joined to receive combat training and to gain access to their information database. Using the connections my grandfather had, I was enlisted to train for the Military Police. Typically there was a waiting list but I would be start immediately after my training. Qwentin also joined the Alliance when he turned 18 and was assigned to the First Fleet on Arcturus Station.

The academy taught me the basics but fighting in the Skyllian Blitz gave me the experience I desired. Shortly after becoming an Officer, I was sent to Torfan to assist guarding the base. One of the batarian strongholds nearby retaliated and I was stuck in the gunfire. Even with all the training I received, I forgot everything the moment I was being shot at. I never felt my heart pound against my chest so hard. As I was taking cover behind one of the crates, a batarian flanked me and we gunned each other down. His bullets penetrated my shield and penetrated my right arm. I had four open wounds from my elbow to my shoulder. Fueled by the rage from my new injuries, I emptied a full clip on that batarian to guarantee his fate. Thankfully backup arrived just as I passed out from the loss of blood.

After the Blitz, a bunch of the veterans joined together for a celebratory party. This is where I first met Commander Shepard. She just got awarded the Star of Terra for single-handedly holding off enemy troops. Everyone wanted to see her shiny new award, well… everyone but me. This is probably why she decided to talk to me.

"What's your name soldier?" she asked.

"Officer Xora Patrone."

"It's nice to meet you Officer Patrone."

"You can just call me Xora," I added.

"Alright, Xora. You can call me Reby," she turned her attention to my bandaged arm, "What happened there?"

"I was sent to guard the base on the North when the batarian bastards attacked us. There was a showdown and I ended up being the lucky one. The doctors had to rebuild my humerus. Now I feel like a damned robot with all the metal bits they implanted. And instead of being sent home to recover, I am being reassigned to the Department of Internal Naval Affairs (INA) so I could continue working."

"I'm the same way," she nodded, "How about I buy your next shot?"

"Sure but it has to be a stiff one."

"Deal!"

We spent the rest of the night sharing stories and downing as many shots as we could. It was our night to forget the Blitz and be happy to be alive. We had one more drink and then went our separate ways. I never got to talk to her again since she became a freaking celebrity, saving the Citadel and all.

The next day, after dealing with a wonderful hangover, I packed all my belongings and moved to the Arcturus Station. Being reassigned had its advantages. I got to travel all across the galaxy and have access to their extensive information database. I was able to gather the reports that came from Terra Nova about the attack. In these reports, I found the disturbing images of my severely burned parents. I broke down when I discovered that their bodies were also brutally torn in half. Based on the eyewitness reports, the murderer was a young female human, roughly around the age of 12-14 at the time. It didn't matter that she was barely a teenager, what she did to my parents was inexcusable. I continued following her trail but the sightings seem to disappear after 2177. Maybe the renegade's actions finally caught up with her and she is nothing more than a corpse… maybe. But I highly doubt it.

Working at INA also granted me the opportunity to meet some incredible people. In fact, a few months into my new position I was sent to the Citadel for a case and that's where I met my quartermaster, Lyrik Castius. I was stepping on some toes in the Financial District when he showed up. Since he was C-Sec and I was INA, we clashed. He called me a FNG (fucking new guy) and I called him a turian hothead. I won't go into too many details on our first encounter, maybe I'll write about them later, but somehow we became the best of friends. Come to think of it, he is my first true friend.

In December of 2181, I was on an assignment to bring down a Sergeant caught smuggling weapons to the Blue Suns. I tracked him to the Argos Rho cluster but by the time we got there he was already gone. Before returning to the Arcturus Station, I stumbled across a small frigate drifting near Patashi. Even though she was badly torn apart by pirates, you could see the faint colors of her name, the MSV Alima. I waited until a recovery crew arrived to transport her to an Alliance impound. When I returned "home," I called my grandfather to tell him all about the Alima. For some reason, I immediately fell in love with her. Maybe she reminded me of the summers spent on Earth or maybe she was a glimpse of my future, either way there was a special connection between us.

A week later was my 26th birthday and Lyrik flew in from the Citadel to take me out to dinner. We were about to leave when I received a phone call from my grandfather. I didn't think anything of it since I get phone calls and private message from everyone I know on my birthday but this call was different. He used some of his contacts at the shipyard to change the ownership of the Alima to my name. I was beyond excited. I had my own ship. Granted, she was inoperable but she was mine. His only request was he wanted the liberty of renaming her to the Dolus Bia. (Coming from Greek mythology, Dolus is the spirit of trickery and Bia is the personification of power.)

It took a little over a year to bring her back to par. I spent every weekend and a good chunk of my vacation time working on her. Sometimes my grandfather would come out to help, mostly supervising since he was getting older, but a majority of my help came from a quarian named Hal'Jurgar nar Rayya. I never saw a quarian before so I actually thought he was turian in a funny suit. At first, he just stared at me as I continued repairing my ship. After an hour of him standing there, I asked him if there was something he needed. He said he was just admiring the craftsmanship in my repairs. So I jumped down to the dock and we started talking. Hal'Jurgar eventually became the main mechanic on my ship, coming aboard shortly after his pilgrimage and donning the name vas Dolus Bia.

As soon as my ship was completely repaired, I decided to leave the INA and become a freelancer. I changed my title to Captain of the MSV Dolus Bia, it's not an official status in the Alliance, I just became one with my ship. A lot of people questioned why I left, thinking I pissed off someone higher up, but I just needed the change. I also figured that it would provide me more chances to chase down my parent's murderer. When I told Lyrik about my career change, he quit C-Sec to become my quartermaster. Hal immediately joined my crew as well, becoming my mechanic. Business was slow at first but skyrocketed when word got out that I previously worked at the INA and was a Blitz veteran. People were hiring me for everything from bounty hunting to transporting artwork but a majority of our contracts were for private investigation. It's amazing how much people will pay just to verify their spouse's infidelity.

My reputation soon became universal and I needed to expand my team. First to be hired on was my helmsman Joselynn Madeen. It was actually Qwentin who shot me a message saying he found some who just quit the Alliance Academy. So I arranged a meeting with Josie. She was training to fly frigates when things went extremely sour with a certain teacher. It was a difficult decision to leave since she enlisted wanting to be just like her father, who was a well-known pilot in the Fifth Fleet. Even though she wasn't that experienced, she had the passion I was looking for. I also think Qwen has a crush on her so if I didn't hire her, I wouldn't hear the end of it.

Shortly after hiring Josie, Tren and Kero joined my team. Not only are the two krogans brothers, they are also… you ready for this, twins. Yes, twins. I couldn't believe it at first. When they were born, the clan went crazy. Some saw it as a miracle and wanted them to become prominent male breeders, to encourage having more twins. Others found it as a curse, saying the two krogans could never be as strong as one. Because of all the rivalry going on, they left as soon as they could and refused to tell anyone their clan name. I found them wondering Omega, trying to find work without resorting to the gangs. I will confess that I do have difficult time in telling them apart. Unfortunately they know this and they enjoy messing with me. Bastards.

Lastly, I need to introduce you to CAIT, she is the Dolus Bia's AI. Hal'Jurgar was the one who discovered her, yet he refuses to share any of the details. (CAIT is short for Centralized Artificial Intelligence Trojan.) Even though she mostly serves as my assistant, she's still our illegal little secret. Most captains have an AI, we just don't talk about it. Anyone found in Council space with an artificial intelligence installed gets fined and sometimes imprisoned depending on the program.

I'm not going to brag or anything but I couldn't have asked for a better crew. We're pretty much a family, a very dysfunctional family. We truly do enjoy spending time together. Even when I give my crew shore leave, we all end up in the cargo hold drinking and playing cards together. In the years I've known my team, we've grown a special bond that cannot tear any of us apart.

Well, now you are caught up. My 30th birthday is coming up soon and for the most part I am content with where I am. But I still feel like there's an empty void inside me waiting to be filled. It's been 12 years and I haven't found my parent's killer. At one time, I told myself that I would never give up. But after so many failures you begin to wonder if it is even worth trying.

Then my entire world turned upside down, everything started happening so quickly. All because I met her… all because of that kiss… Every choice I made would define my outcome, becoming the beginning of something new or becoming the ending of everything I fought for.

Let's begin.


	2. Coffee & Cigarettes: When Xora Met Lyrik

Coffee & Cigarettes – When Xora Met Lyrik

I was reassigned to the Department of Internal Naval Affairs to help recover from the injury I received from the Blitz. I was only in my new position for a few months before I was sent to the Citadel for an investigation on a Lieutenant selling classified Alliance vessel blueprints. Since I had never been to the Citadel before, it was so easy to get captivated by the sheer size of it. It was also easy to get in trouble there too.

Needless to say, I accidentally overstepped my boundaries at the Financial District. My actions caught the eyes of a certain C-Sec officer, a turian named Lyrik. He pulled me aside and immediately began scolding me. He was saying how all Alliance soldiers were the same and that we should all just go back to Earth. Anytime a human showed up on the Citadel, we apparently only caused him more grief. He actually called humans cockroaches who wanted to dominate everything they could get a hold of. Then he mentioned his seniority over me and calling me a FNG (fucking new guy).

First, I have an issue when people confront me… secondly, don't called me a FNG when I still have a wound fresh from the battlefield of the Blitz… and thirdly, an INA official outranks any Citadel Security officer. So yeah, I snapped and began yelling back. Our voices were actually becoming so loud that a crowd of people surrounded us to see the commotion. He made me so furious that my blood was boiling. Even my body was trembling in anger. I was fighting every urge to take my aggression out on him physically. Every word that came out of his mouth made me want to slug him even more.

Our argument kept going in circles, going back and forth and going nowhere. So I did something incredibly stupid… I punched a turian… directly into his chest… I learned very quickly about their tough plating. I hit him so hard that I actually fractured my knuckles.

_Just your luck, Xora, you still haven't fully recovered from your previous injury and you are already getting another_!

I immediately started cursing from the pain, clasping at my hand. Hoping that my obscene words would deter the ache… it didn't. Some of the people in the crowd laughed at me, bastards… the other spectators had a shocked expression on their faces, probably from hearing my expletives. Surprisingly, the turian I just punched didn't fight back. Instead he did something unexpected, his entire attitude changed. Lyrik actually became concerned about my wellbeing and tried to comfort me. He wouldn't stop apologizing. Every single sentence he said started with, "I'm so sorry." It was annoying.

Since he felt responsible for my brawler's fracture, he offered to take me to the medical clinic. I refused, telling him that I could handle it, and walked off. (More like stormed off, pushing out everyone in my way.) I just wanted to escape the entire situation. All I could think about was the lecture I would be receiving from my supervisors. Everything got out of control and this was only my first assignment on the Citadel!

The first thing I did when I got back to my hotel room was to tend to my injury. Once my hand was bandaged, I took off the jacket of my uniform and headed to the lounge chair in the corner of my room. I just wanted to put ice on this stupid wound, drink whatever I could find within arms reach, and try to forget this day.

As soon as I sat down, there was a knock on the door. I thought it was the hotel staff telling me to leave but it was Lyrik. Before he could speak, I shut the door. He started knocking on the door again. I thought about just leaving it closed and hoping he would get the message. But a little voice in my head told me otherwise. I let out a long sigh and reopened the door.

"Hey."

I didn't reply… I just stared at him with very cold eyes.

"I feel really bad."

I still didn't reply.

"Can I please just take you to the medical clinic?"

"As you can see, I already took care of it," I said showing him my bandaged knuckles.

"At least let me make it up to you."

He was obviously desperate. His head hung low, he was fumbling with his hands, even his voice sounded despairing, "Please? I won't leave until you let me. Can I just come in and talk?"

"Look, what's done is done and we should leave it at that. You really should leave me alone."

"No! I know I won't be able to deal with myself if you don't let me do something. I'll do anything…"

I was about to close the door but something in his green eyes begged me to change my verdict. My emotions were conflicting, part of me wanted him gone but the other demanded I give him a chance.

"Anything," he repeated.

"Fine," I gave in, shaking my head in disgust. "Get me coffee."

"Coffee?"

"A grande mocha, soy milk, no whipped cream, one shot vanilla, seven pumps chocolate. If you can get me that, we'll talk."

"Is there a place on the Citadel that does that?"

"I don't know. I'm not from around here, obviously."

"That's it? That's all you want?"

"Take it or leave it."

"Okay, I'll be back. I promise."

After closing the door, I headed back to the chair and sat down. I figured that would be the last I would see of him. The only place I have been able to order that style of mocha is on Earth, even Terra Nova didn't have a coffee shop that could do it successfully. I could never understand why. Everything seemed universal… alcohol, cigarettes, you would think coffee would too. Apparently everyone likes it black or with cream/sugar, yuck. Maybe since the Citadel is so vast there is a possibility that he might find a place that does… but would he even remember how I like it. If he actually succeeds, not only will I be shocked but I will hold my end of the bargain and have this "talk" with him.

About an hour later, Lyrik was at my door holding two cups. He handed me one and invited himself into my hotel room. From the moment he passed the doorframe, he wouldn't shut up. I went back to my chair and Lyrik sat down on the opposite side of the table. I'm not going to lie… I ignored everything he was saying, mostly because he was repeating himself. I figured I would just have to endure listening to him and once he had his fill he would leave me alone.

After a few sips, I took one of my vanilla cigarettes from the pack on the table. I attempted to light it but my bandaged hand was making it very difficult. In one smooth move, Lyrik took out his own lighter and held the flame in front of my cigarette. I gave him a puzzled look as I puffed in the smoke.

_Why the hell does he have a lighter? I'm over thinking this. Just about everyone has a lighter in their pocket, even non-smokers. Come on, Xora, at least thank him._

"Thank you."

"She finally speaks!"

"I could go back to being silent."

"That would make having a conversation difficult."

"Indeed it would," I said before taking another sip of my coffee.

"So your name is Xora Patrone?"

I froze… "How the hell did you figure that out?"

"It was on the uniform you were wearing earlier."

_Thanks. Now I feel stupid. Maybe he has a name tag on or some sort of identification… Nope. Damn. _

"You have me at a disadvantage."

"I'm Lyrik Castius."

"That's quite a name."

"So is yours."

"True."

He dug into his pockets and pulled out a pack of cigarettes.

_He's a smoker? Turians smoke? _

He noticed my confused look as he lit one up and asked, "What? Never seen a turian smoke before?"

"No, can't say I ever have. But in all fairness, I haven't spent a lot of time around turians."

"Well, not many of us smoke. They find it too distracting."

"It's still… odd. That's a human vice."

"So?"

"I guess I still have so much to learn."

"You really aren't from around here," he leaned forward and flicked the ash into the tray, "So where are you from?"

"Officially or currently?"

"Whatever you are willing to share."

"Well, I was born on Earth, spent most of my time between there and Terra Nova. Joined the Alliance at 18 and have been living on their stations ever since. As of right now, this hotel room is home."

"That explains a lot. Have you even talked to someone who wasn't human?"

"Like had a conversation? I can't say that I have. Most of the aliens I met were at the other end of my barrel or under some sort of interrogation." Since he gave me a concerned look, I added, "I fought in the Blitz."

"Oh."

"I know there were a few asari families in my neighborhood in Scott, never really talked to them though. Apart from that, I would have to say that you are first one that I actually ever had a conversation with."

"Quite the first at that."

"Thanks for reminding me," I said showing him my bandaged knuckles again.

"Again, I am so sorry."

"I'll get over it."

"I hope the coffee helps."

"It is," I sighed and took another sip from the grande cup. It was perfection. Every detail of my mocha was right. With the addition of my vanilla flavored cigarettes, the harmonious blending of the two was making every ache go away. "Nothing beats coffee and cigarettes."

"I agree."

"I'm actually surprised you were able to get me this."

"Why?"

"The only place I have been able to have my perfect concoction is on Earth."

"Welcome to the Citadel, we pretty much have everything here. Granted, it did take me some time to find a place that would make it the way you specified. But I did find one."

"You have no idea how comforting this is," enjoying my weakness, "This isn't fair."

"What?"

"You now know my Achilles heel and I don't know yours."

"I think it's pretty obvious."

"I'm dense… you're going to have to tell me."

"I want to spend time with you. If all I have to do is bring you coffee, I think it's a fair exchange."

"But you just met me… and we spent most of it clashing. You don't know me."

"True but there's something about you that makes me want to."

"You are very odd, Lyrik."

"And so are you."

I slumped over the side of my armrest and grabbed the backpack lying a few feet away. His eyes carefully watched me, curious to see what surprises I hid. I pulled out a bottle of coconut flavored rum and unscrewed the top.

"What are you doing?"

"Well… I'm injured and aching. I need my pain reliever," I popped the top off my coffee cup and poured a good 3 shots into the mocha.

"Right into the coffee?"

"Why not?"

"I've never seen anyone do that before."

"I find that difficult to believe."

"Really, I haven't. Maybe I should try it."

I pushed the liquor bottle towards him and he refused, "Its okay, I have my own."

He pulled out a flask hidden in his side leg pocket, unscrewed the top and poured the blue liquid into his coffee cup. I couldn't help but chuckle.

"What?"

"A flask? Really?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"You work with liquor in your pocket?"

"Yes."

"You're my kind of man… turian… oh you know what I mean."

He takes a sip, hesitantly. After letting the mixture settle down his throat, he looked at me as if I just told him he won the galactic lottery.

"This is amazing! How come I never thought of this before?"

"Maybe you were missing the right human touch."

"Possibly. How did you ever come up with this?"

"I don't know what exactly started it. All I can say is that it did help me tolerate some of my colleagues."

He laughed. I don't think I've ever heard a turian laugh before. I found the raspy sound and the way his mandible twitched intriguing. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was the fact that this was my first real encounter with a turian, either way I was enjoying his company. We spent the rest of the night talking about our scars, our jobs, and the battles we fought it in. I shared with him a bit of my past, not the entire details, and he replied with his. Our chat lasted all the way to midnight. When he noticed how tired I was getting, Lyrik said goodbye and quietly left.

I went to bed hoping I would see him again. In fact, I spent my entire day at work thinking about him. He left that much of an impression on me. When I came back to the hotel, I was delighted to see he was already there. He was waiting by the door holding two cups of coffee. From that moment on, I knew we would be the best of friends.


	3. Chapter 1: Never Lucky

Chapter 1: Never Lucky

October 28th, 2185

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

_Damn. I hate waking up. Why do I even bother? Can't I just sleep all day?_

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

"I hear you!"

I slam the snooze on the alarm, silencing the annoyance. Mornings always sucked, especially the ones where I spent the previous night drinking. Lately I have been using the liquor to help me sleep and it's becoming a little too… frequent. It would be great if I knew why I wasn't sleeping but I'm just not that lucky.

My eyes took a moment to adjust to the glowing numbers on the clock. 4:50am. Well that was the time on the Citadel. I have no idea what time it is out here… wherever I am today. I thought about changing the clock to match my current location but since we are constantly drifting, it would be constantly adjusting.

The floor in my quarters was freezing cold and felt comforting against my aching feet. My thirtieth birthday was barely two months away and already I wasn't aging gracefully. I blame the Blitz. I barely made it out alive but at what cost? Every single day I'm reminded of my battle on Torfan. The stress from that one showdown must have cut my lifespan. Now I'm left with the haunting flashbacks and robotic bits in my arm. Even the tattoos couldn't hide the scars from its reconstruction. I will always be damaged.

When I stumbled into the bathroom, I began my morning ritual. Freshening up and getting ready for another busy day. Freelancing is hard work but it can be rewarding, you just really have to work at it. It started off slow but once people saw my record of working at the INA and fighting in the Blitz, they immediately found me perfect for whatever job they had. Most days we transport a package from point A to B or investigate the whereabouts of a spouse. But there have been jobs where we were hired as bail enforcement agents, aka bounty hunters, to retrieve fugitives who skipped bail. I've lost count on how many criminals we had to chase across multiple solar systems.

As soon as I was ready, I headed towards the bridge. The lights on the Dolus Bia were still dimmed from the nocturnal mode being in effect. The only other person awake at this time would be Joselynn. She is always in her chair at least an hour before I even start stirring in my bed. Even though CAIT covered all of the controls during our rest, Josie felt honored by her duty. I say she's just young, give her a few years then she'll start having difficulties waking up.

"She's alive!" Josie joked when she saw me creeping up.

I plopped into my seat, leaning deep into the cushioned recliner. The chair in the middle of the bridge was declared MY chair and everyone on board knew it. Since I spent nearly as much time as my pilot up here, I figured I would spoil myself with one of the most luxurious commanding recliners.

"Not yet, I'm in zombie mode," I replied.

"That's because you haven't had your coffee yet," a raspy voice from behind me mentioned. I felt a hand on my shoulder so I looked up at my tall turian friend. Lyrik handed me my mug of coffee and sat down in the chair next to mine.

I took a sip of the concoction and sighed, "I guess I won't be having brains today."

"What is it with you and zombies?" he shook his head is disgust.

"What can I say? I find them… amusing."

"Maybe I should find a way to reincarnate the dead and then we'll see if you still find them amusing."

I cocked my head to the side and gave him a smirk, my infamous "did you really just say that" look. "You're lucky it's too early for me to function."

"Does that mean I can take advantage of you?"

"Don't push your luck."

"You ARE feisty this morning… I know what you need," shuffling through his pockets. He pulled out two packs of cigarettes, one pack was his regular cigarettes and the other was my flavored ones. He took one of mine, started the cherry on it, and handed it to me.

"Thank you." I took a deep drag and let the nicotine do its work.

"Any time," he said lighting his cigarette.

"Where would I be without you, Lyrik?"

"You'd be either really cranky and on a homicidal rampage or finding a way to make your own coffee and cursing at the machine."

"I'm not that bad! Plus, you're the one who started this whole coffee thing."

"I know. I just enjoy poking at the sleeping varren."

Josie's eyes were following us, curiously waiting for a break in our conversation. When the moment appeared, she held out her mug, "Talking about coffee, can I have a refill?"

Lyrik snatched the cup from her, "I guess I have to."

Josie waited until he was out of her sight to gleefully say, "I swear you two are a couple."

"What? No! He's a turian."

"So?"

"Absolutely not!"

Cross species relationships is weird to me. How in the hell would a relationship with a turian work? Their plates remind me too much of a krogans' and would seem really… uncomfortable. Or even a quarian? You would be constantly worrying how you could kill them just by breathing. Asaris seem to be the only species humans could have a relationship with but even then I still found it… weird. Doing that crazy melding of the minds was too extreme for me. Not only that but they are biotics… and I hate biotics… Great, now I have that on my mind… I need a distraction… "CAIT… can I have a status report?"

"Yes, Captain. Ship status: All systems are currently operating correctly. Hull defenses are at full functionality. Nocturnal sequence is engaged and will be adjusting in 27 minutes and 11 seconds. Squad status: Captain Patrone, Helmsman Madeen, Quartermaster Castius, and Technician Jurgar are currently logged as active."

"Since Hal's awake, it just leaves the twins… go ahead and disable the nocturnal sequence."

"Adjusted. Captain, you also have sixteen unread messages at your terminal."

"Geez, can you give me a rundown of the most important ones?"

"You have a message from your brother, a message from Lieutenant Rimmer in the Department of Internal Naval Affairs, there are four messages containing requests for parcel courier services and two messages containing requests for investigatory law services."

"Thank you, CAIT, and how are you doing today?"

"The same as yesterday, Captain."

"That'll be all."

"Logging you out," she said and the intercom went silent.

I summoned the hologram tablet and began pulling up my messages from my chair. The first message I brought up was my brother's, nothing special. I took a quick glance at the job requests and one caught my attention. Someone was going to pay me 500k credits to deliver one package, 200k upon pickup and another 300k upon confirmation of delivery. The only issue is that it didn't give me any information on where I was taking the parcel to. Either way, it was a lot of money to turn it down.

The last message I pulled up was from Lieutenant Rimmer, who was one of my comrades when I was working at the INA. They all started the same… how are you… what have you been up to… but then he mentioned something that caught my attention. He discovered information regarding a recent sighting of my parent's murderer, about Her. I pulled up the attachment he sent and began skimming through every detail. The report stated an Alliance official noticed someone matching Her description on a convoy heading to Purgatory.

_Purgatory… great, I hate that place. But if that's where She is, then I should head there. Hopefully She is a prisoner and not a Blue Suns guard. I highly doubt She would work on a prison starship, someone like that monster never changes. If She REALLY is a prisoner then I can use the files I have against Warden Kuril to bribe him to release Her into my custody. Although, this seems a little too easy… _

"Anything special?" Lyrik asked sneaking up on me, making me jump. Thankfully I didn't spill any of my coffee. He leaned against the back of my chair, looking down at me. He could immediately sense something was different, "I know that look. What are you up to? What was in that message?"

"Someone from the INA just forwarded me information about Her."

"What? There hasn't been any record in years."

"I know. And here's the interesting part, She's at Purgatory."

"Well, that makes things too easy."

"That is exactly what I was thinking!"

Josie popped in, "Do you want me to set a course for Purgatory?"

"Yes, let's take a quick detour there. Who knows, maybe this report is invalid… or maybe it's just the break I've been waiting for. Either way, I need to find out."

"Setting a course to Osun in the Hourglass Nebula," she said plugging away at her monitors.

A few minutes after we arrived in Osun, I opened the communications and sent a request to Purgatory for our berth. No response. I tried again but the results were still the same. This had me concerned… were we about to stumble upon hostile territory? I directed Joselynn to approach the maximum security prison starship with extreme caution.

When we finally had Purgatory in our sights, no one on my crew was prepared for the current state it was in. We were all huddled in the bridge, staring in awe at the destruction before us. The ship was still recognizable but had severe hull damages. A few lights were still flickering, amazingly, and there was a faint glimmer of fires still burning inside the corridors. As for survivors… the ship appeared lifeless.

"Wow, what happened here?" Josie noted.

"How come no one heard about this? A prison starship being destroyed would make headlines," Lyrik added.

"Unless someone is trying to prevent it from being known," I faced our mechanic and asked, "Hal, can you hack into the security messages? Let's see if we can figure out what happened."

Hal started pressing nearly every button on his omni-tool. It wasn't long before an image appeared above the tool.

"I was able to retrieve three messages, twelve security camera images, and a list of prisoners that were aboard. Everything else seems too damaged to be salvaged."

"Good job. Now we can attempt to piece together what happened here. Let's hear the messages first."

"This one came from their automated security program."

"_Warning, warning… sectors 7, 9, and 11 have lost life support, no survivors… warning, power plant damage has lead to overlook… the hull has been breached in sectors 12, 14, and 30, no survivors." _

"That was useless. No information whatsoever. Play the next one, Hal."

"Here's another one from the VI."

"_Current population: Unknown. Current condition: Unstable. Security Protocol: Overridden. ERROR…Warden Kuril: Deceased. ERROR… Dock-ERROR… ERROR-el: Nor-ERROR-dy. ERROR…."_

"Kuril is dead? Is that why Purgatory went into chaos? Play the last message."

"This one was recorded via their security cameras, the footage is missing but the audio is still there," Hal queued up the message.

"_You're valuab-ERROR… I co-ERROR… have sold you… ERROR-ike a king. But you…ERROR-rouble. At least I can recapture Jack."_

"_ERROR-u're a two-bi-ERROR-ve trader and I don-ERROR…time for it."_

"_I do t-ERROR-ings civil gover-ERROR… are unwilling to. This is for the good of…ERROR…."_

I recognized the voices. One was definitely Kuril. I dealt with him a few times while working for the INA, the damned barefaced turian. But the other voice… I know I've heard it before. Now it was really going to bug me, who the hell was it?

"What do you think, Xora?" Lyrik stared at me waiting for my next command.

"Well, I know the first voice is Warden Kuril. I don't know who the second one is but it sounds so damn familiar. But… who is this Jack person they are talking about?"

Hal pulled up the list of prisoners he retrieved, "Jack… The information is coming up on here… Female human… It says she was a prisoner who was going to be released upon confirmation of payment."

"There isn't a last name?"

"No… it just says Jack."

"That doesn't do us any good. Let's start looking through all these images."

As we looked through the security camera images, a majority of them only revealed the chaos within Purgatory during its final hours - explosions, gunfire, and a significant volume of death. There were two of them showing some prisoners and guards escaping in the shuttles but they were too distorted to make out any faces. I was about to give up all hope but the very last image immediately caught my attention. It showed three highly armored individuals running on the loading dock. They weren't Blue Suns and they definitely weren't prisoners… possibly the ones who paid for Jack? The photograph was blurry but I could still distinguish the species of escapees. There was a salarian, a turian, and a human. The human looked oddly familiar.

"Hal, can you zoom in on them?"

"Give me one second," he said and expanded the image.

_No, it can't be. What is she doing there?_

"Commander Shepard?" I asked.

"Wait? That's Commander Shepard? THE Shepard?" Josie was shocked.

"How can you tell?" Lyrik asked squinting at the image.

"I met her once after the Blitz. From the looks of it, she hasn't changed much… See there? The N7? That's the elite special forces logo for the Alliance marines. Plus she's wearing her signature armor, the one with the red and white stripe down the side. It's the exact same armor I have seen in every photograph of her. But… she died two years ago."

Josie snapped her fingers, "That's right! I visited the memorial on Elysium."

"Maybe she faked her death? It's not unlikely, I've read about people pulling it off," Kero added.

"Just because they can do it in your comic books doesn't mean they can do it out here in the real world," Tren snarled, giving his brother a nudge on his shoulder.

Kero's eyes widened and nudged back. "Not everything I read comes from comic books!"

"Knock, knock, is Tren there? Tuchanka to Tren, come in Tren, reality is calling."

_Oh no. Not now. I'm still repairing the damage from their last disagreement. Why do they always have to argue about every DAMN thing? Can I just ignore them and hope they stop?_

"At least I don't waste my salary on that grotesque Fornax magazine."

"They have good articles!"

"Yeah… right," Kero scoffed, "I'm having a difficult time visualizing you reading. Especially words containing more than three syllables."

Whenever Tren received the impression that someone was deeming him an idiot… needless to say, it never ended well. He gave Kero a good shove in retaliation but his brother did one in return.

_Nope. I'm never that lucky. Hopefully Lyrik will step in. Come on, turian, get angry. You're the only one who seems to shut those two up. _

Right on cue, Lyrik had enough of the twins' aggression and barged himself between them. He forcefully separated the krogans away from each other, breaking up what would be another costly bicker.

_Lyrik, you read my mind…_

"Tren! Kero! Stop it!" The quartermaster hardly got upset but when he did… everyone knew he meant business. Even the slightest raise in his voice would make the crew silent, well everyone except for Xora. He took a deep breath, letting his blood cool down, and explained, "Kero is right, many people fake their death each year, mostly as a form of tax evasion. I saw it all the time at C-Sec."

Kero stuck his wide tongue out of his brother, he finally won an argument. His twin brother just crossed his arms and turned away, acting like he didn't see him. Lyrik gave the gloating krogan a look daring him to see what would happen the next time he stuck his tongue out.

Once the air settled, my quartermaster returned to my side and continued, "Since you met her, what do you think happened? Was her death some elaborate scheme?"

"I highly doubt it. I don't know anyone in the Alliance that could pull something like off. And I know Shepard would never fake her own death, she's got too much pride. But it still doesn't add up. Even excluding the fact she was announced deceased for two years, what was she doing on Purgatory?"

My mind flooded with a series of theories but none of them seemed to fit. Instead it was fueling my frustration to finally settle in.

_Damn, damn, damn. Purgatory was a total bust. I still have no idea what happened to the prisoners, who escaped and who didn't. I cannot confirm or deny this report, it's worthless. I didn't find any information on my parent's killer. Instead I got nothing but this headache of Shepard's ghostly return. This was too good to be true…damn. _

"Well, this doesn't help me. I'm back at step one… again," I said with a disappointed tone, "CAIT?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Please forward all the information we retrieved from Purgatory to my contacts in the Alliance and to Qwentin."

"Anything else, Captain?"

"No," I began walking away from the bridge when a thought occurred to me, "Actually, exclude the image with Shepard. Thank you."

"Understood, Captain. Logging you out."

_Maybe I can profit from this… I need to find Shepard… She was there, she saw Purgatory in its final moments. Maybe she can shine some light on what happened to the prisoners. The only issue is no one knows where she is. For now, I have to dismiss everything and start back from square one. _


	4. Chapter 2: Surprising Outcomes

Chapter 2: Surprising Outcomes

October 30th, 2185

"Captain, Helmsman Madeen has just docked. The current temperature in Vancouver is 47 º F. The current weather condition outside is rain."

"Thank you CAIT… It seems like it's always raining whenever I stop here. Just once I would like to arrive when it's sunny."

I was finishing getting dressed when the AI announced our arrival. I put on my knee high boots and headed to my closet. I stared at the variety of coats I had accumulated over the years, trying to figure out which one would be best. Finally deciding on my black duster, I stopped by my dresser and stuffed the pile of items into my pockets. Taking a quick glance at my crumpled pack of cigarettes, "Great, last one. I guess I need to pick up another carton."

The Dolus Bia seemed emptier than usual today. Typically someone stays behind but it appeared everyone was gone today. Whenever we hit a port most of the crew disappears into the crowds of the city, finding ways to satiate their guilty pleasures. I know my team a little too well if I could still pinpoint their location just by looking at a map. Kero can easily be found perusing the comic book stores while Tren usually hides in some dark strip bar. Josie typically spends her time in the local park reading the latest romance novel on her datapad, doubt she would do that today with this weather. I used to join Hal to the various ship repair shops but lately he's locked away in the engine room or updating his enviro-suit's immuno-boosters. Lyrik is the only one I wouldn't be able to track down immediately. I have absolutely no idea what he does when he's not running errands for me. Good thing he always returns. I don't know what I would do without him around.

The airlock opened and a volus stood on the other side waiting. He was constantly shifting his gaze between the datapad in his hands and the crate in front of him. The package was roughly the size of the alien. It was half black and half white with a yellow stripe going down the black side, unusual colors for a crate. Even more concerning was the additional security attachments. Donning advanced locks and sensitive trigger sensors, someone obviously wanted to keep its contents sealed.

"Greetings, Xora!" the volus called out when he saw me walking up.

"Dorian Agat? Is that you?"

"I know… it's hard to tell us apart… but yes."

"What are you doing here? You hardly ever leave the Citadel," I asked, putting my hands into my coat's pockets.

"Transferring this package… into your possession… they paid me handsomely… as I'm sure they did with you."

"You guessed it. Otherwise I wouldn't waste my time on it. Any idea what's inside?"

"No… but was advised by third party… that this package… may be originally… from a group called… Cerberus."

"Cerberus? I doubt that, they are a radical human group. They would never let any alien work for them in any sort of way, including package delivery. No offense," I smirked at him, bouncing on the balls of my feet as I tried to keep my body warm.

"None taken… either way… exercise caution Xora."

"I'm always careful or at least I attempt to be," I reassured him.

On my way back to the comforts of the Dolus Bia, I noticed a suspicious figure in the corner of my eye. I took out my pack of cigarettes, brought my last smoke to my lips, and "accidentally" dropped my lighter. As I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed how the shadow man was clearly watching my every move. Sneaking another glance at the individual, I immediately identified his outfit. He was dressed in a uniform that matched the colors on the package, bearing a very distinctive symbol on the top of his arm.

_Cerberus… Maybe Dorian was right._

Even though the package barely measured the height of a volus, it was misleadingly heavy for its size. The twins had difficulty carrying it aboard without any gadgets. The unusual color scheme made it stick out like a sore thumb against the other crates in the cargo hold. Everything about this package seemed… different.

The more I stared at it, the more it became desirable. Whatever it was hiding seemed to be talking to me, begging me to open it. But I had a reputation to uphold. I always delivered packages without peeking into them… although there wasn't any harm in scanning it. Technically I'm not opening it, just finding out its secrets. I've scanned packages before… mostly as a precaution whenever someone didn't want to disclose the contents encased in their package. What could go wrong?

"Alrighty Hal, you know the drill. I don't like not knowing what's on my ship, so let's see what's in this bad boy."

Lyrik leaned against the frame of the door and shook his head, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Just because I told you what Dorian said doesn't mean you should take it seriously. We've done this before so stop worrying."

Hal put his omni-tool to the crate and began scanning. Everything seemed like usual but then something odd occurred… his tool was doing a countdown.

"Why is it going that?"

"I don't know. It's never done this before."

When the countdown reached zero, an EMP blasted from the package. Slowly everything in my ship powered down. The hums of my engines could no longer be heard, the only light in the room was coming from Hal's omni-tool, and there was a definite chill already apparent in the air as the vents stopped blowing. The silence was deafening. Never has my ship been this quiet.

"What the fuck just happened?"

"I… I don't know, Xora."

"CAIT?" I cried out but received no response. "CAIT please tell me you're online."

"Nothing is responding, even my omni-tool is acting up, it's trying to shut down," Hal said, pressing every button he could and receiving error beeps.

Kero and Tren came storming into the cargo hold, "The power is out!"

"I KNOW!" I threw my hands up in the air, screaming, "FUCK! Just my fucking luck! Fuck fucking fuck!"

Lyrik confronted me, placing his claws firmly on my shoulders and staring deeply into my eyes, "Xora… concentrate… what do we need to do?"

I averted my gaze, studying everything around the dim room. My mind flipped through the mental rolodex of every protocol action I learned. "Um," I took a deep breath, prying away from Lyrik's grip, "First off, I want everyone to have a weapon on hand, we are sitting ducks right now and this would be the opportune time for anyone to attack us. We have enough oxygen on board to last us about 3 days. So Hal, head to the engine room and see what you can do about getting the power back online. Once it's back, we'll figure out what needs to be fixed from there. Kero and Tren… grab any kind of flashlights you can find. Also grab some blankets because it's going to get cold in here. Lyrik, I'm going to need you to go grab Josie and make sure everyone gets back here to the cargo hold. I want everyone to stay close… as much as possible."

The twins headed towards the living quarters while Hal went straight to the engine room. Once I noticed the others were gone, I grabbed Lyrik's arm just as he was turning away, "Don't go yet."

I let go and walked over to the mysterious box, slowly sitting down on the floor and leaning my back against it. Lyrik came up and sat down directly on the lid of the package, dangling his legs right next to me.

"You're right. I shouldn't have done it. I should have listened…" I hated admitting when I was wrong but this time I really fucked up.

"Hindsight. This is just a hiccup. We'll be fine."

"I fucking hate my life… Why can't things ever be easy for me?"

"It can't be that bad, Xora. I can list a bunch of great things in your life."

"Oh really? Do tell."

"Well… you have me."

"I do have a great crew."

"I was just talking about myself," he boasted.

"Smartass!" I sneered, elbowing his leg.

"On that note," he hopped off the box and gave a bow, "I better get to my assigned duty."

"Lyrik, can you do one more thing?"

"Anything."

"Hide this stupid box somewhere… anywhere… just out of my sight."

"You got it."

As soon as Lyrik left, I paced around the cargo hold waiting for everyone's return. Most of it was spent looking out the large observation pane at the sun in the Sol system. Judging by the distance it appeared we were somewhere between Jupiter and Saturn. We were drifting in a highly trafficked area so eventually someone would discover us. Hopefully it wouldn't be pirates. I hate pirates… it's the main reason I always keep my Carnifex pistol holstered on me at all times, an old habit from the Alliance.

Slowly everyone made it back, bringing supplies to keep us safe and warm. Since we had nothing better to do, we decided to crack out the poker table and play a few rounds.

One of the twins, don't ask me which one though, brought the cardboard box filled with our "necessities." It contained all of our different alcoholic beverages, the monetary chips, and a few decks of cards. The crew immediately grabbed their respective bottles, leaving two sitting quietly in the box… Hal's and mine.

"You're not drinking?" one of the krogans asked.

"I don't know if I should. I'm the one in command and I feel it is my duty to be as coherent as possible in case of an emergency."

"Oh come on, Xora. Have a few with us. Its tradition!" the other one added.

"Twist my arm! Takes a lot to get me drunk anyway," I said grabbing my bottle.

As soon as we were all seated around the table, I started dealing the first round. We always played Texas Hold'em. At first we tried Skyllian-Five but because I was winning too much, the twins demanded we play another game. We tried a few different card games but when I finally taught them how to play the popular Earth variation of poker, they were all hooked. We play with chips and whoever has the most at the end has complete bragging rights until the next game. But recently we made it interesting. Anytime someone won they had the ability to ask anyone anything. We all swore to answer truthfully no matter what. I've learned some pretty crazy things about my crew, which of course I enjoy using against them later.

The cargo bay's temperature was slowly dropping. Within three hours the Dolus Bia dropped from a comfortable 75 º F to cooler 63 º F. Most of my team was relying on the booze to keep them warm while I had a blanket wrapped my torso and another one wrapped around my legs. I hate being cold. Thankfully my ship was well insulated or this would have been much worse.

Since I won the last hand, I asked everyone, "Alrighty guys and gals, name the most rebellious thing you've ever done."

"That's not fair! You've never done anything dirty," Tren commented.

His brother added, "Yeah, you follow the book so hard that you have internal bleeding from paper cuts."

"On the contrary, I've done my fair share of prohibited activities. In fact," taking a quick shot of my drink, "I did something that if word ever got out… I would be forced to go back under the knife."

They all looked at Lyrik, hoping he would have the answer since he knew everything about their Captain. He just shrugged, he didn't know either. Since they knew the only way to get it out of me was to answer my question, one by one shared their most crooked tale. Nothing extravagant from Josie… of course, since she was straight out of the Academy. The twins explained a few shoplifting experiences… again small time. Lyrik was nearing the complexity of my secret, sharing something even I didn't know about from his days back in the turian military. Apparently he disagreed against one of his commanding officers, which is extremely unusual for a turian, and ended up punching him in front of the whole squadron. Landing him in suspension for a few months and forcing him to attend anger management.

"Alright Xora, we all mentioned our dirty deeds, now it's your turn," Josie commented.

"Do you want the short story or the whole thing?"

"I think I speak for everyone when I say we want all the details," the turian sitting directly on the opposite side from me replied, resting his elbows on the table and patiently waited for my tale.

I leaned back in my chair, kicking up my heels to rest on the edge of the poker table. After folding my arms across my stomach, I began, "Of course this happened when I was still with the INA. I was investigating an officer dealing in the black market, simple catch and arrest. But it wasn't easy… as things never are with me. I followed him to an abandoned laboratory and found out he was working with this scientist. Apparently they were developing a device humans could embed surgically into their bodies that would reject biotic powers from being used on them."

Kero looked surprised, "How does it do that?"

"Honestly, I cannot tell you. All I know is that it's not like some function on an omni-tool where it disables biotics from using their powers temporarily… this thing actually makes any biotic ability being attempted against you completely useless. Anyway, I went in to finish the crackdown. I had both of them in cuffs and was about to report into the Alliance when I had an idea. I decided that I would release them if they agreed to implant one of their devices into my arm."

The look on Josie's face was priceless, "What? Are you crazy?"

"Maybe a little," I said using my fingers to give a measurement, "The surgery was successful. I know there was a lot of risk going into it… that they could turn on me, the prototype might malfunction, or something could have gone wrong while I was under. But it worked. When I woke up, the scientist stayed briefly to make sure I would make a full recovery and then they both disappeared, never to be seen again. I actually spent an afternoon going through the laboratory destroying anything to link their whereabouts and my operation. When I went back to my commanding officer, I advised her that they got away and left no evidence to track them down."

"I have to admit, Captain," Tren commented with a shocked look, "I didn't think you had it in you. You blew my mind right out of the water."

I sat back up and began dealing the next round. Lyrik was eyeing me silently. It was difficult to read his expression, especially since he didn't budge once during my confession. He picked up his cards but didn't look at them, he was still watching me. I tilted my head at him in an attempt of getting a reaction but received nothing. So I just shrugged it off and turned my attention back to the game. It wasn't until I dealt the flop that he returned back to normal.

Since Joselynn won the next hand, she asked, "Does anyone have someone important in their life?" Immediately she shot a glance to Lyrik, waiting for his response.

"Hold on! Before we answer that Josie, I think we ALL know who your 'special someone' is."

"I doubt that…"

I looked at the rest of us at the table and in sync we said, "Qwentin."

"It's that obvious?"

"Oh come on! Whenever he visits, the spare room we have is spotless… which knowing how my brother is, that's impossible. You literally have to spend all afternoon just making the bed. So somebody has been spending time with a certain individual. It can't be me, it's certainly not any of the guys on the crew… so that leaves you."

"Fine, you caught me. Yes, I have something going on with your brother! Now Lyrik, you're up."

We all stared at my quartermaster, waiting for him to reply. He shifted in his seat nervously like he was attempting to avoid the question. His eyes darted all over the table. I have never seen him this anxious before.

"We're waiting on you, Lyrik," I commented.

His eyes locked onto mine, freezing the fidgety turian in place. He stuttered, "Well, I…"

He was immediately interrupted by the hum of the engines rumbling through the cargo bay. The lights flickered back into their bright iridescence and all the relieving sounds of the Dolus Bia returned.

"Let there be light!" I cried out, noticing our mechanic walking out of the engine room. "You are amazing, Hal!"

He playfully took a bow. He knew he saved the day and had more bragging rights than any of us sitting at the table.

"Alright everyone, let's go check every room and make sure we are back to our full potential. Once that's done, we can come back here and celebrate with a few more rounds."

Everyone got up and headed their separate ways. Lyrik oddly left the room without any hesitation.

"CAIT? Are you back online?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Thank you!" I praised the intercom. "Give me a status report."

Apart from a few circuits being fired, the ship was functional again. We returned to the table but started a new game, since Hal was joining us. The more the night progressed, the more went to bed. Lyrik was the first to leave, followed by the twins, and then Hal. Since it was just Josie and I, we stopped playing cards and started matching each other's shots.

"Do you know what today is?" I ask pouring the next round.

She looked at her watch and responded, "It's October 31st."

"Yeah, but do you know what that means?"

She shook her head no. We slammed down our shots and watched each other cringe as the alcohol burned our throats.

"It's Halloween."

"Oh yeah! I never got to celebrate it as a kid. We lived on space stations, making it difficult to import pumpkins."

"You missed out. I love Halloween. My grandfather would make a special trip out just to celebrate it with us. He and I would spend the entire month of October pulling pranks. By the time the 31st came around, my parents were so sick of me that they threatened to send me to live with him. I actually wanted that! Mostly because they were never really home to begin with…"

"I'm sorry."

"Not your fault, don't worry about it," I shrugged and poured another shot, accidentally overfilling it. "Anyway, I kind of miss the feeling I got every October, especially when it was Halloween. Come to think of it, I haven't pulled a prank on anyone since my parents died."

"Why haven't you pranked one of us?" she asked, slurring.

"I honestly don't know."

"You know what I think?"

"That you're drunk?"

"No! Well, yeah I'm drunk, but I think that you don't have what it takes to prank anyone anymore. That you just don't have it in you."

"You're treading on dangerous soil, kiddo."

"Well, prove me wrong!" she exclaimed, throwing her floppy arms up in the air.

"Fine! I'll even let you pick the target. So who's it gonna be?"

"Tren, he seems like the toughest one on board."

"You're on!"

Famous last words…


	5. Chapter 3: Black Eye Remedy

Chapter 3: Black Eye Remedy

October 31st, 2185

Even though I could feel the swelling of my right eye pulsate violently, I couldn't resist laughing. I successfully pranked a krogan. How many people could say they did that and survived? The only issue is that I just need to learn to duck faster. Sure my prank was evil and a bit sloppy (I blame the alcohol) but it got Tren good. So much so that he punched me the moment I popped out of the darkness, spooking him.

All I needed to relieve the pain was a good night's rest but the walk back to my quarters seemed to be taking forever. Every step I took started dragging across the floor. The grip on my bottle was slowly beginning to slip. I just needed to crawl into my bed, have a few swigs to numb out the pain jolting from my eye, and pass out. But then I noticed Lyrik walking towards me.

_Oh shit. He'll freak if he sees this. I don't know why but he's so protective. I wouldn't be surprised if he punches Tren in return. Now I wish the power was still out. It would make it so much easier to hide this._

In an attempt to hide my injury, I flicked my hair over my eye and tilted my head away. He could sense something was different, "What are you doing?"

"Just heading to my quarters, going to bed… night."

As I passed him, he grabbed my hand and turned me towards him a little too quickly, making me slightly dizzy. I kept my head down but the smile ruined it all.

"Something is up. What's so funny?"

I brought my eyes to meet his, watching his expression immediately change when he noticed the discoloration under the strands covering my face. He brought his hand to my face and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"Geez Xora! What the hell happened?" Lyrik asked noticing the black eye I was trying to cover.

"Well…" trying my hardest not to laugh, "Josie kind of dared me to prank someone."

"Please don't tell me that it was to one of the twins."

"Then I won't say anything… other than it was totally worth it."

He shook his head in disapproval while I had a grin of complete satisfaction gleaming on my face.

"I dodged out of the way enough to not get the full force!"

"Obviously you weren't fast enough to not get hit at all. I swear you are getting rusty."

"No I'm not. It was just really dark. And I was drunk."

"Come on," Lyrik said leading me towards the living quarters.

When you entered the first floor of the Dolus Bia, the front part was the bridge, the middle part was the galley and lounge, and the rear was the living quarters. There was a hallway with three doors on each side and a door at the end. Starting from the first door to your left is the med bay, Hal's room, and then a storage room. He insisted on being in the middle of all the supplies. On the right side was Josie's room, a guest room (in case my brother visited), and Lyrik's room. The twins had their living quarters on the second floor next to the cargo bay. And my room… was the door at the end of the hall.

Lyrik stopped in front of his door and opened it, gesturing that I go in. I guess I won't be going into my quarters until I have had a stern talking to. It has been a while since I entered Lyrik's room. It was very clean and tidy. I felt like if I sat anywhere that I would disturb how neat something was. The bed was made, his desk was spotless, and even his couch seemed immaculate! One wall was adorned with his awards, most I never knew he even had, and there was an abstract painting that covered a majority of the space above his bed.

I walked over to his desk and noticed three photographs. The first one was him standing between his parents; the resemblance between him and his father was striking. The middle one showed him in a uniform from his days on the military. And the final was of me, which I found odd. Why would he have a picture of just me? The picture showed me sitting at the poker table with a cigarette in one hand and my cards in the other. I was smiling but not directly at him. It looked like I knew I had a winning hand and was about to rake in a good sized pot.

_I don't remember anyone taking this photo. Could he have possibly taken it without me knowing? Although, judging by the nearly empty bottle in front of me, I don't think I would have noticed anything. Speaking of bottles… _

I brought my bottle to my lips and took a good gulp from it. I was going to need it for this "discussion."

"Take a seat, wherever you want," he said going to his desk and digging through the drawers.

I took a look around and my choices of locations to sit were limited. There was his desk, on his bed, or on his couch. I didn't like the idea of that photo staring at me or the awkward feeling I would get from sitting on his bed, so I chose the couch. As I sat down, I noticed the couch was a lot softer than it appeared and felt especially comforting to my aching body. The weight of my eyes was gradually becoming heavier. I was on the verge of dozing off when the sudden movement of Lyrik plopping down next to me rejuvenated my senses.

He placed a white box with a red cross in the space between us and opened it. There was a series of medical supplies stuffed inside. It must have been his personal collection since I didn't recognize any of these from our medical bay. He grabbed one of the sealed packets and pulled a blue colored disk from it. He brought it to my face and gently pressed it against my eye. The moment the disk touched my skin, I jumped because it was freezing cold.

"What the hell is this? I've never seen this before," I had to ask.

"Really? It's in every medical kit aboard any turian vessel. I just happened to snatch one of these before heading to C-Sec."

"You stole it?"

"No, I snatched it. There's a difference."

"I fail to see how it's different but whatever."

"You shouldn't be complaining. If it weren't for this, what would you be using to heal that black eye of yours?"

"Well, I was thinking of slapping on a piece of raw meat and then drink enough alcohol to numb out the pain," I smiled jiggling my half-empty elixir.

He chuckled, "You humans are as primitive as we believe."

"Hey!"

"You know I mean that in the nicest way possible."

"Explain to me how that was nice."

"Okay so it wasn't," he said and I slapped him with the back of my hand, making him drop the ice pack.

"Hey! Don't hit the one who is trying to help."

When I went to retrieve the ice pack, my hand landed directly atop his. He paused for a brief moment before pulling his hand away from mine and returning the cooling disk back to my eye. The cold felt comforting against my swollen skin. I could also feel the warmth radiating from his fingertips. I never noticed before the difference in our body temperature. Granted, I usually am not this close to him. I made it a habit to give all my crew members their space since we are stuck in closed quarters all day long.

As we sat there silently, I began studying his face. Maybe it was the lingering effect of alcohol or the fact that I was exhausted (or both) but he looked damn good for a turian. His piercing green eyes complimented his deep purple face markings. He once told me what they represent, something about where he came from, but I honestly cannot remember. There was just something about his markings that captivated me. I just wanted to trace them with my fingertips, much like following the lines on my tattoos. I felt like I needed to remember every bit of his face… like a photograph… then I remembered…

"I was noticing the pictures on your desk," I said breaking the silence, taking control of holding the pack against my eye so I could lean into the couch.

"Yeah," he said casually, almost trying to dodge the subject.

"I am kind of curious as to why you have a picture of me."

"Oh, I didn't know I wasn't allowed to. I can take it down if you like."

"No, it's not that. It's just weird that you have only me and no one else from the crew."

"Well, I have known you longer than anyone else. You are my best friend… you very special to me."

"That makes sense then. Sorry if I seem nosey. It could just be the liquor talking," gesturing as I take another sip.

"It's okay. You are allowed to be curious."

"Until it gets me into trouble…"

"I think it's the liquor that gets you into that trouble."

"Only half of the time… okay, most of the time. But I have you around to keep me from getting into TOO much trouble."

"You also keep me around to take care of the aftermath, like putting an ice pack on your black eyes."

"I get your point. But remember, you volunteered."

"That I did."

"I don't see you complaining."

"I'm not. I actually enjoy all these little moments with you." I noticed his mandibles twitch as he mentioned it. Typically when we played cards it was his tell-tale sign that he had a good hand. But we aren't playing cards so does it even mean anything?

"Me too," I replied. Maybe it's because we have known each other for so long that I can find comfort in him. We have done so much together. I sometimes don't even see him as a turian, I see just see him as an individual who is taller than me.

*YAWN*

"Sorry, I'm so exhausted."

"Well, yeah, look at what happened today. I know it was a tough day but you stayed strong throughout the whole ordeal. You truly are a great Captain."

"It's just a cover. I was scared throughout the whole ordeal though, even when we were playing cards. At least we have the power back on. I hate floating out in space without any defenses on. We lucked out that nobody felt like attacking us."

"Xora, do you ever wish for something more… quiet?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, is this what you want to do for the rest of your life? Do you actually enjoy the uncertainty this job brings? Have you ever thought of settling down?"

"I honestly don't know. I never thought about my future. In fact I am surprised I even got this far. So I don't know. Probably… maybe I'll get back into rebuilding engines like my grandfather and I used to."

"You speak so highly about him."

"That's because he was wonderful. I cannot list one thing wrong with him."

"I wish I had the chance the meet him."

My grandfather passed away shortly after I acquired the Dolus Bia. He was there at my birthing for it. He knew he was getting short on time so he took every opportunity he had to tell me how proud he was of me. He said that as long as I have the determination to get something done, it will happen. He also reminded me that if I ever find someone that I know I cannot live without, to never give up on them. Much like he never gave up on my grandmother. In his final moments, he told me that my life will always be more important than any cause.

I broke away from my memories and shared, "I think he would've liked you."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, apart from the fact that he likes everyone. He would like how you are always watching out for me."

He smiled.

*YAWN*

"I really should get to my room soon."

"You don't have to leave yet," he insisted, retrieving the ice pack away from my face.

It felt weird to reopen my eye but I could immediately detect that it wasn't as swollen. He pushed my hair behind my ear and placed his hand on the cooled part of my face. His warmth sending shocks down my spine.

"See, you look much better."

I put my hand atop of his and closed my eyes. I had difficulty in reopening them. I guess the sheer exhaustion was finally catching up to me. I could feel myself slowly losing consciousness. Then he pulled his hand away, reawakening my senses yet again.

"If I didn't know any better, I would say that you are finding ways to keep me here."

"No, you can leave at any time. If you want, I can take you to your room right now? All you have to do is ask."

"I think I'm currently too comfortable on this couch to move anywhere," I muttered taking another sip of my poison. The burning sensation from the alcohol trickled down my throat, mixing with my body's exhaustion to amplify my buzz.

"Xora, I hate to bring this up but back at the poker table…" Lyrik nervously averted his gaze away from me, "Can I ask you about your implant?"

"You can, I'll try my best to answer whatever questions you have," I said holding up the bottle, the reason I may be absent minded.

"Where is it?"

I looked at my tattooed arm, the ink hid most of my scars but I could still see every single one by memory. I traced a path from my elbow to my shoulder, three inches up and one inch in. "Right here."

"Why there?"

"I figured if I ever got scanned, they would see all my robotic bits from my reconstructive surgery and think it was part of it. That and instead of adding another scar, they just cut through an existing one."

"What does it exactly do?"

"Well, if someone tries any sort of biotic ability on me while using a biotic amp, it rejects it. From how they described it… oh let me see if I can remember this correctly… it is connected to a series of veins and muscles and whatever, when it senses an increase in the mass effect fields it sends a series of shockwaves through my body to counterbalance it. The only issue is the attack must make be within a close proximity of my skin, otherwise it's worthless. For example, if someone throws something at me, I'll still get hit. Or if someone is using a biotic ability with an omni-tool it sometimes doesn't catch it either."

"Is that the only thing you have… implanted?"

"Wait, are you asking me if I augmented any part of my body? Like… my breasts?"

"What? No!"

"Okay good because that would just be plain weird."

"Well… Did you?"

"I have the robotic bits from the reconstructive surgery and the biotic resistance device. That's it, I swear. Why?"

"I thought I knew everything about you."

"What would be the fun in that?" I looked at Lyrik with my blurred vision and couldn't help giggling. "You look like a cat," I blurted out.

"You've said that before. In fact you are the only human to compare me to a cat. Others say I look like some sort of lizard. Typically they are saying it negatively."

"Be honest with me, how many humans have you talked to? I seem to remember a certain someone hating homo sapiens."

"I WAS like that but then I met you. Even now, you are the only human being I am close to, well close enough to share personal things with."

"You're the only turian I am close with… and the only one I meow to. Meow," I purred with the bottle to my lips.

"Are you doing that to further drill in that my appearance of a cat?"

"No, I just do it because it's fun."

"Well it's cute."

"No, cats are cute, me meowing isn't," I yawned.

"Maybe I need to see a cat to compare the resemblance."

"You've never seen one?"

"No, I can't say I have."

"Maybe one day I'll take you to Earth so you can see a cat."

"I would really like that."

"Then it's settled," I said closing my eyes, "One day."

"One day."

"We'll… go together," my consciousness drifted in and out.

"I'd like that."

I slowly opened my eyes, trying to adjust to my surroundings. It only felt like a few minutes but turned out to be about 3 hours. The first thing I notice is that I am not in my room, I was apparently still in Lyrik's quarters. Then I notice that my head wasn't on the soft couch but on something much warmer… and with a heart beat. I lifted myself up and realize that I was lying on the couch with Lyrik beside me. I had my arms wrapped around him and was using him as my pillow. He had one of his arms draped around my back and while the other one was clinging onto the area my implant was. I began wondering how long he was awake after I passed out, how much of this he witnessed. After gently removing his hands from my body, I slowly got up and did my best to not wake him. I had to fight every urge to just stay, my body was comfortable where it was and the throbbing pain in my head made it very difficult to move.

_Just get to your bed and you can rest as long as you need to. Let's hope he won't bring this up in the morning… or any time soon for that matter. Let's also hope he doesn't get the wrong idea. How the hell did it come to that? Damn liquor._


	6. Chapter 4: Delivery

Chapter 4: Delivery

November 3rd, 2185

"Hey Xora, we're coming up on drop off point," Joselynn beaconed over the intercom.

I made my way to the bridge and waited to see who was on the receiving end of the troublesome package. All I was thinking about is how I couldn't get rid of this stupid parcel fast enough. If it wasn't for the 500k, I would have ejected it from the airlock the moment the power came back on.

Shortly after my arrival, the rest of my crew joined me at the helm. Tren still hadn't apologized for giving me the black eye, granted I deserved it for saran wrapping him to the bed and putting tacks all over the floor. I don't think I've ever seen a krogan so annoyed in all my life… I don't think I would attempt to do it again though. Actually, I take that back, I would definitely do it again.

There also didn't seem to be any awkward tensions around Lyrik. Maybe he fell asleep before I used him as a pillow. He could have also brushed it off as another one of my drunken nights. Possibly he doesn't even think anything of it since we are friends. He hasn't mentioned anything so I'm not even going to bother bringing it up.

We could see the starship close in on our proximity. I could have sworn I've seen this ship before… I just could not remember where. Slowly the faint logo on the side of the vessel became apparent.

"It's a Cerberus vessel!" I cried out, "Holster up!"

As Josie docked the Dolus Bia adjacent to the other ship, Lyrik and I went to the airlock. I quickly checked my Carnifex pistol to verify it had clips inside and put it back in the holster loosely hanging off my hip. Lyrik strapped on his old C-Sec shoulder holsters and playfully dual wielded his pistols before securing them.

"Show off," I rolled my eyes at him. He smirked in return.

Tren and Kero walked into the airlock just as the door was about to open, standing directly behind us holding their assault rifles. I took a quick look around at my team and felt confident that we could easily overcome these Cerberus operatives. To my surprise, when the door revealed the crew from the other vessel, we were welcomed by a turian in blue armor, a salarian in white attire, and a human female donning Alliance Marine armor with the special ops logo, the N7.

I cocked my head to the side, "Shepard?"

She smiled, "I remember you… Xora, right? I met you during the Blitz."

"That's right. Wow, it's been a long time," walking up to the Commander and shaking her hand. Reblicah Shepard looked nearly identical to when I first met her. The only difference was the addition of a few scars. She stood with authority and had the same confident glow in her eyes.

"It's crazy that no matter how big this galaxy gets, it still feels small. You're no longer serving the Alliance?"

"Nah, I left about 3 years ago to do this. What about you? What are you doing on a Cerberus ship?"

"It's complicated. I never really worked for them… we just had similar goals at the time. That and I had a debt to repay. Now the Normandy is back under its rightful command." She looked behind me and noticed the parcel waiting, "I take it that's what you are here to deliver."

I signaled the twins to bring the package aboard and immediately the salarian walks up to it with his omni-tool ready to scan it.

"No no no no no no!" my whole team cried out, trying to warn him.

He ignored our warnings and an orange glow covered the box. Immediately, my crew and I covered our heads in preparation for the repercussions. But there wasn't any sort of EMP blast.

A bit frazzled, I asked, "How did that… how come it didn't?"

The salarian responed, "Programmed omni-tool to override Cerberus encryptions. Scanning unknown packages can be highly costly. In this case, this parcel was an explosive device with a triggered detonation upon extracting its contents."

"A bomb! Shit!" I couldn't believe it, "Never ever again will I deliver a package without knowing what's inside. I don't care how much they pay me."

"This is normal for us," she turned to the side and yelled, "Zaeed, can you dispose of this?"

A tall elderly man covered in scars and different colors eyes came up from behind the pillar, "My pleasure."

As Tren and Kero went to assist Zaeed in disposing the package, the salarian became oddly interested in them.

"Is this normally how salarians act?" Kero asked, trying to shy away.

"Astonishing. Two similar krogans, nearly identical. Shared bloodline? Brothers perhaps? Extremely irregular but not impossible. But, no, something more here… could it be? Twins?"

Tren, Kero, and I looked at each other confused. The only ones who knew their secret was the clan they escaped and the crew on the Dolus Bia. Astonished, I had to inquire, "How the hell did you figure that out?"

"Yeah, how did YOU figure that out?" Tren stuck is face directly into the salarian's.

Reby could notice my krogan becoming irritated, so she intruded, "Mordin spent a lot of time on the Special Task Force. He's a very skilled scientist."

Mordin continued to study the twins as they carried the package behind Zaeed to the elevator. As they disappeared behind the doors, all I could hope for is that Tren wouldn't get too aggressive against the curious observer.

"If you don't have anywhere to be, I would love to catch up with you, maybe give you a tour of the ship?" Shepard happily threw out the suggestion.

"Definitely," I smiled. I turned to Lyrik to see if he would be interested in joining us but he was already busy talking to the turian on Shepard's team. They were pointing out each other's similar markings. I could only guess that it meant they came from the same location and were discussing it. So I left him behind to join Reby for the tour.

Reblicah showed me around most parts of the ship she called the Normandy. It was such a beautiful ship. I was actually a bit jealous, although I could never give up my Dolus Bia. She had quite an interesting bunch of people on her crew, especially the ornery bastard at the helm. I wish I had him as my pilot.

She suggested we have some drinks so we made our way to the Port Observation. She stood behind the bar pouring me shot after shot. Shepard poured herself one glass of a clear liquid and nursed it. It appeared that she slowed down since the Blitz… granted back then we made it a point to get wasted. We started sharing stories about our lives since our first meeting. The more we drank, the more we revealed. I discovered that the great Commander Shepard was in a serious relationship with the turian from earlier. She even showed me the scar on her neck, calling it a "marking." That's when she started asking about Lyrik.

"So how long have you and your quartermaster been together?"

"Damn… too long. I believe we've known each other for 6 years."

"And how long have you two been a couple?"

"A couple? No, we're not dating!" I was appalled, even the word 'dating' sounded dirty.

"Oh, I'm so sorry! I noticed how he looked at you and it is the exact same way Garrus looks at me."

"We are just really good friends," I awkwardly looked at the liquor in my shot glass.

"You two would make quite the cute couple," a mysterious voice mentioned.

I turned to my right and this hooded woman was sitting in the chair directly next to me. She startled me so much that I nearly fell off my stool. I could have sworn there wasn't anyone else in the room. And I sure as hell didn't hear the door open or hear anyone come in.

"How? What? When? Were you there this whole time?"

"No, I had to satisfy my curiosity first. By the way, I like what you've done in your room, feels homey," her smile glowing through the shaded hood.

"Wait… huh?"

"Oh, right, never mind."

I looked at her confused, "How the hell do you know how the inside of my ship looks like?"

Shepard leaned over the counter and whispered, "Kasumi's a bit of a master thief. Don't worry, she didn't steal anything… she just likes to look around."

"You have one hell of a team, Reby."

"Only the best," she grimaced with a fake smile, pouring another round. I could immediately tell by the look in her eyes that she had a great deal on her mind. I could only imagine the emotional stress she was going through. "I need the best if I'm going to accomplish the impossible."

"I take it you have a long journey in front of you."

"That's putting it gently," her mood immediately changed. I could tell she had a lot on her mind and it was taking its toll on her. "There will be sacrifices, there will be death… I will be fighting until the end just to save as many lives as I can. Humanity's hope rests in my hands."

"That comes with any war."

"True but let me put it to you like this, I used to put a notch on my gun but now there isn't a weapon large enough to hold them all. Especially after all my recent events…" she stared vacantly at her drink, her fingers tracing the rim of the glass delicately.

"It can't be that bad."

"Have you heard what happened in the Bahak system?"

"No, I typically try to avoid that part of the traverse due to my relationship with batarians."

"Good, continue to stay away from there… as a personal favor to me."

"You got it," I nodded in agreement. Then I remembered the information we retrieved from Purgatory. This was my chance to get something in return, "Reby, there really is no easy way for me to ask you this but a few days ago I stopped by Purgatory. I have surveillance records showing you were there. I am currently the only one who has access to them and I am willing to delete it… because I like you Reby. But I need some information first."

She gulped, "What kind of information?"

"I need to know why you were there."

"I was recruiting a member to my team, Jack."

_I remember that name._

"Jack? We found her name on the list of prisoners. You recruited her?"

"Yup, she's quite the biotic and a great addition to the team."

I cringed at the word "biotic" and slammed down the shot in front of me. "Is she on the ship?"

"She's down on the forth level. I can take you to meet her if you'd like?"

_This Jack person may be the only one who has any information on the killer I'm hunting. But she's a damn biotic and I don't know if I'll be able to contain my anger. Especially with these drinks in me, she could easily trigger my nerves. Shepard has quite a few biotics on her team. The asari justicar, the cocky lady in the white suit, the quiet drell, the young athletic man, and now this ex-prisoner, all biotics… if I upset one, chances are the others will pitch in. So I need to think, what is more important? I need that info…no matter the cost. _

I nodded, "Take me to her."

Upon walking down the stairs to the area below the forth floor, I could see the faint silhouette of a woman. The closer we became, the more I could see the tattoos covering nearly every inch of her body. From the tips of her fingers up to her shaved head, every bit of flesh was inked. She definitely looked like an ex-convict. The moment she met my eyes, she scowled at me. Immediately, I felt there was something about her I just didn't like.

"Who's this, Shepard? You know I don't like having random people in my space," the tattooed woman immediately stood up from her cot and approached me directly as a display of dominance.

"I know," Shepard shrugged, "but this is Xora, we shared some drinks together after the Blitz on Torfan."

"I don't care who she is, why is she here?"

"Be nice to her, Jack. All she wants is to ask you a few questions about Purgatory."

"Why?"

Before Reby could further elaborate, I intruded, "I'm investigating the trail of a murderer."

She eyed me from head to toe, evaluating my body language and determining if I would be 'worthy' of her assistance. "Fine, ask your stupid questions," she sneered, crossing her arms.

"What were you in Purgatory for?"

"Let's see… I killed a few people, crashed a space station into a hanar moon, ran with some gangs and pirates… the list is pretty extensive."

"How well did you know the other inmates on Purgatory?"

"Not very well… after I murdered the fuckers who thought it was okay to rape me, they put me in cryostasis."

"Do you know if anyone incarcerated spent any time in Terra Nova?"

"I just said I didn't know anyone. I don't make a habit of being friends with anyone. So no… I don't."

_Something here just isn't sitting right with me… I have this feeling… maybe… let's ask her…_

"Have you ever been to Terra Nova?"

"Yeah, I was there. What of it?"

"Was it by any chance in the summer of 2173?"

"Maybe," she snarled, "that kind of information will cost you."

"Jack, cooperate," Shepard's authoritative command subdued the biotic freak.

She glared at me, "Yeah, I was there that summer."

The moment she said those words, my gut clenched. The images of the crime scene flashed before my eyes. All the files and documents of their murder rushed through my memory. Then I saw them… my parent's bodies as if they were in the room with me, scorched and dismembered. And _her_… with their blood.

_It's her…_

Quietly I stood there, paralyzed by my thoughts. The red tint of the room faded to a bluish grey, dulling out everything around me. The hum from the Normandy's engines disappeared, leaving a deafening silence. The air around me became heavy, making it difficult to breathe. After 12 years, I finally found _her_.

Then I could hear my name being breaking through my illusion… but it was muffled.

"Xora."

I heard it again, a little clearer.

"Hey Xora."

I shook my head back to reality and noticed Reby cautiously examining me.

"Are you okay?"

The familiar surroundings slowly came back into perspective. Bringing my hand to my forehead, "Yeah, it was just the alcohol kicking in, that's normal."

"Okay… you had me worried there. Your transmitter is going off."

I look at my hip and notice the blinking orange light. In one flawless movement, I snap it off and answer, "Yeah."

Josie's voice came through, "We're all ready to go Captain."

"Got it, I'm on my way."

"I'll walk you out."

I nodded in agreement. As we walked away, I shot one last glance back at Jack. All I could think about was how I was going to avenge my parent's death the next time we met. The only issue was getting through Shepard. As long as Jack was on her team, she was untouchable.


	7. Chapter 5: Last One Standing

Chapter 5: Last One Standing

November 4th, 2185

There I stood in a bluish-grey room with endless walls. Everything was quiet… I couldn't even hear my footsteps on the cold floor. A strange mist covered the area, concealing the dancing shadows in its wake. This was a familiar place for me… I just needed _her_ to show up.

I took a few steps forward, taking in my surroundings. I glance down and noticed I was wearing a cotton gauze white dress with reversed seams. I hardly wore dresses but this one seemed oddly fitting to my personality. It covered every part of my body, from the tall collar to the long straightjacket style sleeves. Although, I don't remember owning this dress… but to be honest it could easily be hidden in my messy closet.

In the distance, I could see the silhouette forming in the grey vapor. The closer I walked towards it, the more it began to glow blue. The time for resolution was coming… _she _was coming…

"Jack!" I screamed out at the figure but there was no response. Carefully I inched closer to the glowing shadow, trying to keep a safe distance. "Jack! I'm calling you out!"

The mist parted ways to reveal Jack glowing brightly from her biotics. She had an orange jumpsuit open down to her hip and wore an orange halter top that barely covered her bosom, showing off all the tattoos on her upper torso. She looked identical to when I met her in the forth level of the Normandy.

The glare in her eyes met mine… she clearly knew what this gathering meant. She stepped forward with her hands at her side, summoning the energy to trickle around her fingertips. We stood only a few yards from each other, patiently waiting for the first attack.

"You will pay for the crimes committed against my family."

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes."

"So you're willing to lose everything?"

"I lost everything the day you killed my parents."

"But are you sure you want to die on your wedding day?"

"I'm not going to die… you are," I spat at her but she laughed, further fueling my rage.

She cocked her head at me, pursing her bright red lips, "What about your fiancé?"

"He can wait… I came here to finish what you started 12 years ago."

She shook her head at me, "If that's what you want…" The glow in her hands sharpened… she squinted her eyes and screamed, "I'll tear you apart."

"Not before I do!" I shouted, clenching my fists tightly.

She came running right at me, building the energy in her hands. She threw a biotic blast directly at me but it dissipated the moment it reached my skin. She attempted another blast, failing yet again. The closer she got the more desperate she became. Throwing blast after blast at me, she tried with all her might to push me away but to no avail. I didn't budge from my spot… further irritating her.

"How?" she screamed at me.

When she got within arms length, she threw a punch towards my jaw. As I dodged to the left to avoid her swing, my right fist gave a direct hit into her gut and caused her to hunch forward. Without giving her a moment to respond, I clipped her feet with my leg and she fell to her side. She quickly rolled to her knees to get up but as soon as she did, I had both of my hands around her neck.

"Because I'm better than you," I scowled, tightening my fingers into her jugular.

Her hands grasped at my hands, trying to loosen my grip. Her eyelids frantically fluttered, swelling up with water and causing a trail of mascara to flow down her check. Her fingernails dug deep into my skin, puncturing the top layer and causing a few drops of blood to sneak out. But it didn't stop me. I continued to choke her, feeling absolution the more she panicked.

As she started clawing at my arms, she noticed something different about my right one. A wicked grin emerged from her red lips. "No," she gasped, "you only have the advantage."

Before I could fight her off, she dug her fingers into my skin and pulled out the implant in my arm. I immediately let her go, stumbling backwards… holding onto my open wound. The stinging pain shot through my entire body.

"Now the odds are in my favor," she smirked, dangling my implant in her hand.

Without trying, she pushed me away with her biotics. I flew back twenty feet and tumbled hard against the grey floor. Trying to get up as fast as I could, my vision became blurry from the sudden loss of blood. My gauze dress was becoming drenched in my red livelihood. Right when I got back on my feet, she raised me straight up in the air and then slammed me back to the ground. My entire body screamed in agony. My muscles fought against me as I shifted onto my knees. I raised my head, gasping for every breath… watching her closing in on my location.

_This is it…_

She took her time, each step confident of her victory against me. Her pearly white teeth grinning through those red lips, "You are making this too easy for me."

"So you think," I panted, gathering all my remaining strength.

As soon as she was in front of me, I pounced forward and pried my implant from her hands. With pinpoint accuracy, I took the blunt end and stabbed it directly into her chest. It went right between her ribs and into her heart. Her eyes widened, staring at me as I pushed it in deeper.

She cried in pain, "You bitch!"

"It's only fair since you ripped my heart out by killing my parents," I wheezed, twisting it to the side and making sure to cause as much internal bleeding as possible.

Jack refused to go down so easily. She placed her hand against my chest and with all her remaining strength did a biotic pulse directly into me. I stumbled backwards, still able to hold my balance. I brought my hands to where she hit me and noticed a gaping hole. Using the last bits of adrenaline I had flowing in my veins, I remained standing… watching as Jack met her end.

She fell to her knees, frantically trying to remove the implant from her chest… tugging and pulling on it with all her might but it was too deep. Slowly her grip becomes weaker. Her fingers could no longer hold onto the piece of steel sticking out from her. She sat quietly on her legs with a look of defeat overtaking her. She closed her eyes and leaned back, coming to rest on the cold floor.

Before her last dying breath left her, she turned her head to face me and whispered, "I hope it was worth it." Her body went limp yet her eyes stayed wide open… still glaring at me.

I collapsed to my knees. One hand grasping the wound on my arm, the other clutched against the new injury in my chest. The blood seeped through my hands and soaked my white dress… trickling down into a puddle on the grey floor. Any energy I had left drained from my fingertips. Losing all control of my body, I fell onto my back. I stared at the grey mist above me… watching it close in.

I could feel my heart beat slowing, my breathing echoing against my chest, my eyelids becoming heavier with each blink. Slowly the temperature of my body seemed to drop, causing my body to shiver from the cold. I could hear my name being called in the distance but my vision was too blurry to see who. The next thing I felt were two arms wrapping around me. As they clenched me tightly against their chest, the warmth from their body felt so welcoming. I felt a few wet drops of their tears fall against my exposed skin. Their sobbing rang in my ears, muttering something unintelligible.

"Xora, stay with me," they cried, running their fingers against the frame of my face.

With all my strength, I opened my eyes and squinted at the figure holding onto me. But my vision remained fuzzy… only giving me the faint image of my comforter's green eyes. The warmth of their body and the rough texture of their fingers, the sound of their voice and the brief glimpse of their green eyes, all seemed familiar to me.

Before I could say their name, everything turned black. All of my senses shut down and the stinging pain vanished. Then I felt nothing…

In one loud gasp, I woke up violently in my bed on the Dolus Bia. My body and my sheets were drenched from my sweat. Immediately I checked my arm to see if it was wounded… nothing. I searched for the scratch marks… nothing. I took a sigh of relief. It was just a dream.

I shifted to the side of my bed and stared at the faint orange glow from the hologram at my desk. I stumbled over to my desk's drawer and pulled out the bottle of liquor. Furiously I took three gulps, letting it burn down my throat.

As my senses came back to life, I started putting together the bits from my dream. It was the same dream I had 12 years ago, the one that started my journey. This time I could clearly see who my parent's murderer was. I actually knew who I was battling against instead of only seeing a blue figure. But I never had this beginning… and this ending…

_What does it mean?_

I took another gulp from the bottle and grunted as it forced its way down. I tried to concentrate on the details from my dream but all I could think about was the person who came to my side. The voice, the green eyes, the warmth of their body… I had a hunch on who it was but I don't know why he was in my dream. I remember Jack mentioning that I was missing my wedding…

_Could that be why? Is he? No… impossible. _

My head throbbed from all the new information. The alcohol also didn't help in alleviating the aching. Every thought was racing with more questions. There was only one thing I could do…

_I need to figure this out… I need some time in my quiet place._

I grabbed another bottle from my desk and began heading to my quiet place… the cargo hold. I always needed someplace to hide, someplace I could drown myself in my thoughts. When I was younger I would find solace in the local boneyard, now I conceal myself atop the crates in my cargo hold. Everyone aboard knew to leave me alone when I went there. They knew that if I get interrupted, I get a little aggressive. It was best to let me go through a few bottles of liquor, sit there in the silence, and give me time to find answers in my solitude. But this was a heavy subject, I had no idea how long it would take…


	8. Chapter 6: Cargo Hold Quarrel

Chapter 6: Cargo Hold Quarrel

November 5th, 2185

Remember, remember the fifth of November

Lying atop one of the crates near the corner of the cargo hold, I isolated myself away for nearly 20 hours… drinking nonstop the entire time. I was working on my forth bottle, dangling it carelessly off the edge of the crate. I could help but stare vacantly into the panel above me. I had a lot on my mind… mostly about my dream.

After putting some thought into it, I came to the conclusion that this was different version than the one that started this venture. This time I could actually see the woman I was fighting, instead of being just a blue blur. It was definitely Jack, no denying it. There was also me in a wedding dress… missing my own wedding just to kill her. And instead of it ending with me on my knees, I was lying in someone's arms. The big difference is that this time… I know I died.

"Xora, are you okay?" I heard from below me. I propped myself up to see Lyrik staring up at me. I was so focused on my thoughts that I neglected to hear him sneak up on me.

"I'll be fine," I scowled and lay back down.

"You've been avoiding us since we dropped off that package with Commander Shepard… was there something that happened on the ship that you're not telling us?"

I sighed, "Do you really want to know?"

"Of course I do."

"I found my parent's murderer."

"What?"

"Yeah, her name is Jack… she's a part of Reby's crew."

"Are you sure?"

"I know it. I can feel it in my gut and it burns. Everything adds up."

"Are you sure it's not the liquor talking?"

I propped myself back up and shot a nasty glare at him, "Don't. I'm not in the mood."

"So what now?" he asked, sitting on the crate below me.

"I don't know… I _do_ know that I need to find a way to take her down," taking a swig from my bottle, cringing as it went down to join my previous shots.

"Xora, I've been thinking, maybe you don't need to do this," prying my bottle away and placing it away from my reach, "Maybe you don't need to avenge your parents. Maybe you should move on."

I turned onto my stomach and laid my head on my crossed arms, looking down at him, "Don't say that. You just don't understand… For 12 years I have done nothing but track that bitch down. And now that I know where she is, I cannot touch her because she's under the protection of Commander Shepard."

He looked up at me quietly, his green eyes staring directly into mine. All I could think about was his blurry image in my dream. I couldn't stop looking at him…

Maybe it was the booze but I felt like I should tell him, "Lyrik… Do you remember the dream I told you about? The one I had at the beginning of all this?"

"Of course I do."

"Well," I dug my chin deeper into my arms, "I had that dream again… but it was different."

"What happened?"

_Should I tell him the whole dream? Give him every detail? No… don't tell him about the wedding dress… or the wedding… or even that he was in it…All that matters is that Jack needs to die… at any cost._

"Well… I can't give you all the details but this time… I died."

"See!" he threw up his arms, "You are going to kill yourself if you attempt this any further."

"I know. But I still have to kill her. Somehow. Someway. I swear I will. I don't care how long it takes or what it takes to kill her," I pushed myself up and cautiously crawled down from the crates, shoving him aside so I could leave. As soon as I got to the bottom, he grabbed my wrists.

"Xora, listen to me," he pleaded, standing in front of me.

"I'm done listening," I turned away, trying to free myself but he tightened his grip and used my wrists to pull me closer to him. I gritted my teeth, angered by his infringement of my personal space. I looked directly into his green eyes and spat, "Let… Go…"

"No. Not until you've come to your senses."

"Why are you stopping me, Lyrik?" I tried to struggle myself free but it wasn't working. I know I couldn't handle much more of this.

"I have my reasons."

"This is what I want. It's what I have always wanted. Nothing will stop me… not you… not my dream!"

"I won't let you do this!"

"Why?"

"I can't say!"

"Fine," reaching my boiling point, "You asked for it."

Using his grip on my wrists, I took hold of his arms and leaned back. In one movement, I brought my feet against his chest and kicked him away. He immediately loosened his grip and stumbled backwards.

He dropped down onto one knee, holding his hands out in peace, "I don't want to fight you, Xora."

"Then you should have just left me alone."

"I couldn't do that… I could never do that."

"You keep saying all the things you can't and couldn't do… there is nothing you can say or do to stop me," I sneered at him and turned to walk away.

I barely took a step when I heard him call my name, "Xora."

When I turned to face him, I saw him charging directly at me. The strength from his blow forced my body off the ground and threw me against the wall. My head slammed against it, causing me to feel dizzy and get a throbbing headache. I pushed him away, giving my arm enough room to cock back and send a punch right into the side of his face. As he turned, I threw another fist directly into his side right, in the open area between his chest and back plating… learning from my previous mistake. He stumbled away, grabbing his side.

This was my opportunity to stop the room from spinning. I hunched over, my hands on my knees, barely able to keep myself from falling over. Feeling the alcohol affect my senses, I urged my body to sober up… and quickly.

"That was one hell of a hit, right into a sensitive area," he panted.

"I know. I looked it up after I first met you. I wasn't going to punch a turian in the chest again," I sneered.

I thought he would finally get the hint and just leave me be… but I noticed Lyrik in the corner of my eye, coming right at me. I rolled forward, dodging in time for him to miss me and bump into the crates behind me. Even though I evaded his attack, the rolling caused the blood rushed into my head and I felt even dizzier. And I was already feeling exhausted. My chest was working overtime, trying to let enough air in to stop my wheezing. All those damn cigarettes would be the death of me tonight.

As I was composing my senses, his shadow was sneaking up behind me. I twirled my leg around, catching his leg and knocking him down, hearing a loud grunt when he hit the floor. I took a deep breath and stood as straight as I could. I felt like I had to at least look like I wasn't injured, even though I was aching all over. Even with the adrenaline running through my veins, these pains were already haunting me.

Once Lyrik was balanced on his feet, we exchanged a few punches. Gracefully dodging each other's attacks, I was determined to defeat him. Finally, I saw my opportunity. I brought my leg up to kick him in his side but it was intercepted. He grabbed my calf, tightened his grip and before I could react, I was off the ground being thrown backwards. My back greeting the edge of a large metal crate, digging into my skin as my body arched around in. The uncomfortable position complemented the throbbing pain aching down my spine. Humans just don't bend this way and this was a horrible reminder.

"FUCK!"I screamed out.

_I'm going to need one hell of a drink to make that one go away. Damn it… I am getting rusty…_

As I was trying to adjust myself back to a normal position, I saw his presence closing in on me again. My panting was heavy, every exhale sent shockwaves through my injuries. I was barely off the floor when he took a handful of my shirt and used it to thrust me against the wall. Grabbing my wrists in one hand and holding them above my head. His grip was much stronger this time, avoiding any future resistance. His body closed up against mine, pinning me in position. I could feel his boney hip digging into mine, his protruding collar burying itself in my chest. His face was barely a few inches away from me, his eyes frozen onto mine. I attempted to resist his grip, squirming in place, but he had me restrained. I could barely nudge… I was at his mercy.

"No more fighting, Xora. Just listen to me," his panting sending warm breaths of air to greet my skin, "I will not allow you to destroy your life just because you are filled with vengeance."

"It's something I _have_ to do… You can never understand."

"Try me," he hissed slamming his free fist against the wall, clenching his eyes. "I know exactly what you are going through. I may not have experienced like you did but I can feel it. It may not mean much to you, but your pain is my pain."

"My pain could never be your pain. You don't know how it feels to have someone you love murdered."

"No. I don't… not yet. But if you keep this up, I'll be losing you. And I cannot live with myself if that happens," his piercing green eyes opened and met mine. I couldn't do anything but stare back.

"I don't get it, Lyrik. You knew my intentions before you even joined my crew. You even agreed to help. I need to get my vengeance. I don't care if I die, as long as she dies along with me."

"Yes I know, at one time I did want to see you get the justice your family deserved. I wanted you to find the resolution you needed. But things have changed…"

"The only thing that is different is that I know who she is and where I can find her."

"Listen to me! Things _HAVE_ changed. It's right there in front of you."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Xora," his voice sounded hurt, on the verge of breaking down. He came closer, the distance between us shrank. I dug my head as far back into the wall as I could but his face still closed in. His nose was barely grazing mine when he whispered, "I never had the nerve to tell you but… I can no longer deny the feelings I have for you."

_Wait? WHAT! _

My eyes widened. All of time seemed to stop. I could no longer feel the pain throbbing throughout my entire body. The tense stance was starting to lose its strength the more my mind raced with this new information.

_How? Why? I mean, it all makes sense now. At least I think it does… The morning coffee, the conversations we had, he was finding ways to bond with me. Or maybe I was leading him on and not even knowing it. I know I woke up next to him on his couch but was that the only time? Right? I don't know. I don't understand. He's a turian, this is not right…this is not natural…_

"I love you," he whispered. Lyrik closed his eyes and brought his forehead to meet mine. Feeling his warm breath rushing against my skin, it was still heavy from our sparring. His mouth was closing in onto mine. Our lips barely gazed each other now.

_Is this actually happening? Am I dreaming? Am I in a coma from the alcohol? No, he's right there. And this feels so real… But I cannot go anywhere. He has me. What should I do? I can't resist… Should I give in? Can turians even…kiss?_

Lyrik locked our lips. I could feel how he was restraining himself. He only came close enough to allow his mouth to greet mine, barely feeling my soft skin touch against his rough opening before he pulled away. It was enough to leave a lingering sensation… leaving me craving for more.

_Yes. They can kiss. I… I don't know if it is the liquor, if it is just my emotions speaking, or if there is something more. But… this feeling… it's consuming me…I need another…I NEED to feel his lips against mine again…What am I saying? No, Xora… it's not natural…_

He looked at me, hesitation beaconing in his eyes. His confused look studied me, trying to grasp if I would permit more. Unaware if he should continue, he appeared to fighting with himself.

_But it felt so good… Maybe… just one more harmless kiss… just one…_

My body wanted more, craving whatever he would share. Every breath he took made my hair stand on end. The anticipation tensing, I just wanted his lips on mine again.

_Just one more…_

"Yes," my voice pleaded as I nudged my nose against his cheek., "Lyrik, please."

Before I could say anything more, he forced himself against me. Binding our mouths together, allowing his tongue to intrude. His grip on my wrists weakened, bringing his hands to cup my face. It wasn't long before my body accepted him. I couldn't control myself anymore. As much as I wanted to believe it was wrong for our species to mingle… it all felt so natural. The more he shared, the more I desired. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer into me. The skin on the back of his neck felt soft under my fingertips. The plating was tough but everywhere around it seemed vulnerable. I enjoyed the flinch he made every time I ventured around his sensitive areas.

With his height towering over me, I needed to level the playing field. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist, bringing me to his height. Thrilled by my actions, he thrust my body parallel to the wall. Then a low rumbling noise bellowed.

_What was that? Did he just growl at me? Whatever it was… I liked it._

He nuzzled against the traces of my jaw, the rough texture of his skin guiding my head to move up and expose my neck. His hands joined at the collar of my shirt, I could feel his claws gazing my soft skin. He dug his face deeper in my throat. His tongue caressing the delicate surface of my neck, his breathe felt warm against the freshly moist areas. I threw my head back moaning, triggering Lyrik to allow another growl to come out.

Placing my hands on each side of his mandibles, I pulled his mouth to meet mine. Our lips bound to each other without any hesitation. My tongue pressing against his, massaging against the roof of his mouth and along the sharp ridges of his teeth.

Allowing the heat of the moment to take over, his hands began tearing open the front of my shirt… exposing my chest. His hands immediately started their exploration over the curves of my body, navigating their way around my breasts to my waist. He dug his claws into my side, luring my hip to rub against his... feeling the warm bulge pushing against his pants.

Just as my body was begging for more, everything stopped. He pulled his lips away and stared deeply at me, having a battered look in his eyes. Something obviously troubled him. Maybe he was hoping he didn't overstep his boundaries. He did… although I wasn't complaining. But his concerned eyes showed something deeper.

"I'm sorry. This isn't… I… I have to go."

He lifted me up, removing my legs from around his waist. My bare feet returned to the floor, leaving the turian to tower over me once again. His eyes clenched shut and without any warning, he slammed his fist against the wall, screaming in protest. He pushed himself away, storming out of the cargo hold, not even so much as a glance back at me.

_What the fuck? What happened? Was it something I said? Or did? Oh shit, this is going to drive me insane. First he tells me he has feelings… for who knows how long… then he kisses me… and… and now he's gone. I'm not imagining this, right? Why does this feel so good? It shouldn't… he's a turian. But we kissed… then poof… he's gone. Why did he go? He's the one who started this. Or did I?_

I shook my head, maybe it was a dream. Nope, the pain from our sparring is still there.

_Damn, what the fuck is wrong with me? I'm still feeling aroused from our encounter. This is an unusual feeling. I don't think I have ever felt like this… I am actually welcoming the pain, something ANYTHING to distract me from this. I need to drown this sensation._

I head back to where it all started to my belongings and grab my bottle. As I head towards the door, every step I take ignites more injuries to awaken.

_Great, as if this was awkward enough, my shirt is ripped open. This is going to be an interesting walk back to my room. I need to drink this, whatever it is, away. No, I really shouldn't. Alcohol may have had some affect in what just happened. I need to sober up and just take a damn shower. I have to think… about this… about him… about us…Why can't things ever be easy!_


	9. Chapter 7: All Cards on the Table

Chapter 7: All Cards on the Table

November 5th, 2185-November 6th, 2185

The shower was exactly what I needed. Nothing calms me better than feeling water hit my bare skin. The down side… it exposed some of the bruises coming in from our encounter. It also showed the four inch gash on my back from hitting the metal crate. I didn't feel it at the time, I blame the alcohol, but the broken skin was creating a constant throbbing pain to jolt down my spine. Of course it had to be on the part of the back that was difficult to reach. I did my best to clean my wound and slapped some medi-gel on it as best as I could. Now all I could do was hope for it to heal.

After slipping into a loose fitting shirt and my sleep pants, I situated myself into the chair at my desk. I tried so hard to concentrate on the datapad in front of me but the throbbing from my head was making it difficult to see straight. Trying to lose myself in the orders for the coming week and planning out our route, nothing seemed to work to get my mind off today. And I wasn't even thinking about Jack or my dream, no, all my thoughts were revolving around him.

_Lyrik is my navigator. He's just a part of my crew. Right? Before that, we were just friends. Right? I never thought of him as anything more. But did I ever treat him like he was? I don't think did. I never took any time to really think about relationships and… love, especially in another species. Is it even possible for this to happen? No! Stop think about this. Turians and humans shouldn't be together._

The bottle on my desk was looking more and more tempting. Toying with the idea of just putting off all this work, take a few swigs, and drowning out all these thoughts. I could still feel a bit of the aftereffects from my binge drinking, doing it for 20 hours will do that to you. But when I started unscrewing the top, it didn't feel right. So I shoved my poison into my desk drawer and got back to reviewing the invoices.

_Okay, come on Xora, concentrate. You have a business to run…Damn I can't do this. Nothing seems to work! Why is he burned into my thoughts? Sure I care for him but I care about everyone on my crew. I don't even know if I feel anything for him… but that kiss… I know I trust him more than anyone else but that could be because we have known each other for so long. I do enjoy spending time with him but I'm like that with everyone. Maybe I do like him? No! He's a turian! Don't even think about it! But that kiss… his hands on my body… _

The door to my quarters creaked open. I swung around in my chair but the sudden movement made the throbbing hurt even more. Pressing my hand against my forehead, I noticed Lyrik coming in holding two mugs of coffee. His head hung low, his eyes anxiously trying to meet mine but couldn't.

"I brought you some coffee," he muttered.

"Thanks, I could really use it." As I took my cup, my fingers lightly grazed against his. He immediately jerked his hand away. He seemed frightened that he may overstep his boundaries again. Yet the look in his eyes expressed how badly he yearned to have more.

Turning away, he walked to my bed and asked, "Is it okay if I sit here?"

"Go ahead."

"I also thought you might need this," digging out a pack of pain killers from his pocket and gently tossing it my direction.

My eyes lit up at the sight of the miracle pills, "Yes, please, you are a lifesaver. How did you know?"

"Well, I would be aching too if I got thrown around a few times."

"Thanks for reminding me," I remarked, popping two into my mouth and chasing it with the hot coffee.

His fingers nervously rubbed his cup, "This feels so much like deja vue."

I sat back in my chair, leaning against my gash, "Yeah, except this time it's more than skin deep."

"That's why I was hoping we could talk."

"We need to," I agreed as I grabbed a cigarette and lit it. I didn't want to give the impression that I upset about our ordeal so I offered Lyrik one from my pack. He grabbed it and lit it up, his hand slightly trembling.

We sat silently for a moment. All that could be heard was the hum from the engines. Watched as he stared at the floor, I could see him fighting with the thoughts running through his head. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out.

After a few minutes of silence, I decided to begin our conversation, "Listen, Lyrik. We both have the ability of dodging around these issues and hiding what needs to be said. We can either sit here dancing around this topic all night or we can just lay everything on the table. Personally, I think we did enough 'dancing' in the cargo hold."

He nodded in agreement. Taking a deep breath, he admitted, "I'm sorry for earlier. I forced myself upon you."

"I didn't exactly stop you either," I added, flicking the ash into the tray on my desk.

"It just…" he clenched his eyes shut, "I've been holding it back for so long."

"If you don't mind me asking, how long have you had feelings for me?"

"Getting straight to the point, huh?"

"I always do."

_Please don't tell me it was because of that night in your bedroom._

He hunched forward, "Do you remember your 24th birthday?"

"How could I forget it? That's the last time I ever had the 'mystery shot.' I paid dearly for it that morning praying to the porcelain god. But I still can't recall half of what I did before I blacked out."

"Well, you were in and out of consciousness."

"That sounds about right with me… so what happened?"

"Since you couldn't stay awake long enough to actually walk anywhere, I decided to carry you back to your hotel room. I remember looking down at you curled up in my arms. You looked so peaceful. It was the first time I could see right through the mask you wore… see the real you. Hiding behind all your tattoos and the tough alias you created. What I saw in my arms was a heartbroken young woman, drowning in all her rage. Aching to fill the void left from the death of her parents. Hoping that one day you would find happiness in a world gone mad. I always saw the pain in your eyes, even from day one. You don't realize it but your eyes speak louder than your words," he paused, taking a moment to stare directly at me, "Then you did something that would never forget. Right before I dropped you off, you rubbed your head against my chest. It really felt like your body found comfort in me, knowing that I would gladly protect you from any dangers. It made me realize that I cared for you. From that moment on, I knew things were going to be different between us."

He continued to stare at me, studying my reaction. I averted my gaze and concentrated on the coffee mug. Sheepishly, "I honestly don't remember any of that."

"I didn't think you would, you did have a lot to drink and it was a few years ago."

"This means you have had feelings for me for nearly six years. You have been holding it back all these years? Why?"

"First I wanted to see if I really had feelings for you or if it was just something about that night. I tried to deny them, especially since I knew you were against interspecies relationships. But I just couldn't stop thinking about you. The more I tired to resist, the harder it became to ignore the urges. You were in my dreams every night and haunting my thoughts throughout the day. It felt like the only resolution was to spend every day with you. I wanted to say something, there were so many moments I could have mentioned it. But it didn't feel like the right time. That's also the reason why I stopped today. I have been waiting so long for the perfect moment to tell you. I even had it all planned out. How I was going to take you in my arms, confess my love for you, and hope… hope to even hear you say it back. I didn't expect my emotions to get the better of me and force myself upon you. All the time I spent reciting what I was going to say… just to have it go awry." Lyrik tilted his head down, shaking it in disbelief. He tried his best to hide the trail of tears running down the grooves of his face. In a distressed tone, he puffed, "This must sound pathetic to you."

I didn't know how to react to his confession. It was one thing to know that he cared about me but it was something entirely different knowing that he's felt this way for six years. I have never experienced anyone having serious feelings for me. Granted, I was too busy concentrating on tracking down my parent's murderer. For the first time in my life, I had absolutely no clue on what to do.

I took a sip from my coffee mug and replied, "It's not pathetic… I just don't understand it. This is entirely new to me… this whole _love_ thing. Even if you told me this earlier, I still wouldn't know how to react."

"Do you have any feelings for me?" he asked desperately.

_Think about this, Xora… you don't want to say the wrong thing…_

"I do care about you, Lyrik, in fact, I trust you more than anyone. I do enjoy spending time with you and I actually feel relaxed around you. But as for it being more, I never thought about it before. The fact would still remain that you're a turian."

Instantly I could see his heart sink. Despair beaconed through his water-filled eyes. My words left him broken, shattering every hope he had. Holding back every urge to break down, he asked, "What if I wasn't a turian?"

"That's impossible."

"But what if?"

"Then maybe? I guess? There have been so many things happening lately, my whole world has gone completely upside down. I really don't know, Lyrik."

He left the edge of my bed and stood in front of me. After setting his mug on my desk, he gently pried mine away and placed it next to his. Kneeling at my feet, he took both of my hands into his and pleaded, "What if you looked past my mortal coil? Take away the differences in our appearances and concentrate on what was on the inside. You would see that I am nothing more than a man on his knees… begging for just one chance. To prove to you that there is more than meets the eye. To fill the void in your heart with the love I have to give."

His words stirred through my brain, picking apart my view of the world. Somehow he caused me to reevaluate my outlook on our physical dissimilarities. I never treated anyone on my crew like they were a different species… I always treated everyone equally. If I were blind, I wouldn't be able to tell what species he was. All I would be able to distinguish was his loyalty as my friend.

"Maybe I can," I sighed, "But what about my parents? What about my vengeance?"

"I know the death of your parents was difficult, especially since they were taken from you. When I lost my father, I felt alone. I lost the last bit of family I had. You at least still have your brother. I had no one… But instead of letting my depression eat away at me, I filled the void he left with the grace you presented me. What I'm trying to say is maybe you should reconsider the path you're walking down."

"That's a hefty request."

His desperate glare revealed his intention to do everything in his power to get me to accept him. Bringing our clasped hands closer to his chest, he inquired, "When we kissed today, did you kiss back because you wanted to? Or was it because you felt forced into it?"

"I wanted to…" the words escaped me.

Lyrik's face lit up at my blurted confession. He knew this was his opportunity to beseech me. "Give me until the end of the year. Let me have this chance to show you that life is worth living."

_Maybe I should… Just one chance…That seems reasonable…_

I took a deep breath, hanging my head in defeat, "Fine."

Immediately the warmth in his hands radiating against mine, I could feel his pulse pounding through his fingertips.

"All I ask is that you give me some time. You seeded the idea… now I need to accept it. I still have a lot of thinking to do but you'll have your chance."

"I understand," he smiled, his mandibles twitching excitedly, "I can give you all the time you need. I've already waited this long to confess my feeling. Just let me know when you're ready."

_I hope I did the right thing. _

"I should probably let you get some rest," he said as he got up. Still clenching onto my hands, he bent down and placed his forehead against mine. He closed his eyes, whispering, "Thank you. I'll do it right this time."

Without another word, he grabbed his mug and started walking out. He shot one last glance at me before leaving my quarters. The energy glowing from his eyes confirmed the value of my acceptance. Finally receiving the permission he waited so long to hear.

I got up from my chair and headed to my bed. Feeling every ache run through my spine, my eyes uncontrollably clenched as I crawled under the sheets. My exhaustion of being awake for over twenty hours took its toll. As I waiting for the pain relievers to kick in, I couldn't stop thinking about Lyrik being my dream.

_What if this is what my dream meant… maybe we are meant to be together? But marriage… I doubt we'll go that far. But what if it does? Is my dream a glimpse of the things to come or is it a warning against what can happen? What if everything in my dream is true? Maybe our relationship is what caused my death…_


	10. Chapter 8: Wake Up Call

Chapter 8: Wake Up Call

November 6th, 2185

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

I cracked my eyes at the damned alarm clock… 4:05am. Why was it going off so early? My hand instinctively reached for the snooze but the noise continued.

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

The moment I sat up, all the blood rushed to my head and instantly began to throb.

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*

_What the hell? Where is that noise coming from?_

"Captain."

"What is it CAIT?" I grumbled at the AI.

"Your brother is calling."

"Ah, that explains it. Thank you."

"Logging you out."

I got up and stumbled to my chair. The beeping pounded against my head, hitting me like a brick. The throbbing was a painful reminder of the events that transpired.

With a push of a button on the hologram keyboard, my brother showed up on the screen. "You are calling me awfully early Qwen," grumbling at him.

"I know but I needed to follow up on the message you sent me. By the way, you look like shit."

"Gee, thanks. Good morning to you too."

"What the hell happened?"

I questioned how much I should tell him, only revealing, "I had a quarrel with Lyrik."

"Looks like he won."

"You could say that."

"I hope he looks as bruised up as you do."

"Probably not, you know how thick skinned turians are."

"What were you fighting about?"

"Mostly about the info I sent you."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really…," I looked away, "How about you just tell me why you are calling?"

"About the info you sent me. Right now I'm not finding anything about this Jack person. You couldn't find a last name?"

"Nope, that's all I got. I don't even know if that is her real name or an alias. Even Purgatory only had her listed as Jack."

"What makes you think she is the one?"

"I had the dream again and this time she was the one I was fighting."

"Are you going to base everything on that dream?"

I fought every urge to tell him about the differences. Especially mentioning Lyrik's confession… I don't think he's ready to hear about his big sister being in an interspecies relationship. So I stayed with the basics, "Well, everything lines up. She's a biotic, she confirmed being in Terra Nova the summer of the attack, she even matches the description I found in the reports at the Arcturus Station."

Qwen sat there silently, registering all the information I provided him. "It does poise a problem that she's working under Commander Shepard. She's pretty much untouchable right now."

"Trust me… I know… it's all I have been thinking about."

_It's not the only thing…_

"Listen, I need to get ready to report in. I'll continue to check around and see if I can pull up anything more. Maybe there is a way we can lure her away from the safety of Commander Shepard. Until then, behave yourself. And please… rest up."

"I'll try but I won't promise anything."

The screen went dark and the room went back to being silent. Finally, my head could stop throbbing. I shot a glance at my bed and noticed how comfortable it was looking. I stumbled towards it and crawled back under the sheets, feeling the pain being reawakened from my recent movements.

I took a glance at the alarm clock on my bedside table. Knowing that I would have difficulty in getting to my post in two hours, I decided to excuse myself from my duties. I'm pretty sure the crew would understand.

"CAIT."

"Yes Captain."

"When everyone gets to their posts, can you please advise them that I will be unavailable until 900 hours?"

"Understood Captain. Logging you out."

_Yeah, 5 more hours of rest should do it. _

I turned to my side and stared at the empty spot on my bed. Taking my spare pillow, I brought it to my chest and clenched it tightly against me. I closed my eyes and allowed my thoughts to run rampantly again.

Instead of dwelling on the dream… my mind was filled with the images of my quarrel with Lyrik. Playing out the scenes of our kiss like a movie scene stuck on repeat. The way his mouth felt against mine, the primitive desires flowing in my veins encouraging me to continue. There was something different between us, something I never felt before with anyone. I was longing for more and I couldn't explain it.

I still had so much to consider. I didn't know if I wanted to claim myself as being in a relationship, especially in an interspecies one. I know I accepted Lyrik's offer but I was unsure if it was really what I wanted. The only thing I did know is that I would do anything just to have one more kiss.

Four hours later I was awakened by the feeling of someone sitting on the side of my bed. I groggily looked at the intruder, seeing the back of a red and silver suit. "Hal?"

"I'm sorry for disturbing you, Xora."

"Don't worry about it. I should start getting up anyway. What's up?" I asked as I sat up, the throbbing returned but it wasn't as severe as earlier. I propped my pillows up to the backboard and leaned against them.

Hal turned to face me but didn't look directly at me. He was fumbling with his hands, fidgeting with the straps on his arms. "There is no easy way to say this… but I know what happened yesterday."

_Wait, what? Please tell me I'm still sleeping. That I'm dreaming. _

"Okay. What do you know?"

"Everything... The argument, the quarrel, the… um… yeah…" he muttered through his translator.

_Fuck._

"How did you find out?"

"I spend all day working in the engine room adjacent to the cargo hold. When I heard yelling, I peeked through the door to see what was going on."

"Well, this is awkward," I said scratching my head and looking away.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to say anything to anyone. My lips are sealed, figuratively speaking. If it were anyone else on the crew, I would turn a blind eye but I just wanted to stop by and check on you. Make sure you were feeling alright."

"I'll be fine. I do appreciate you looking out for me."

"Out of curiosity and I know I shouldn't be asking this… but what is going to happen between you and Lyrik? I remember you distinctly stating you were against interspecies relationships."

"Call it ironic, I guess," I snorted, "To tell you the truth, I honestly don't know what's going to happen. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the whole situation. But the ball has been set in motion so I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

"I wish I knew… or had the chance…" Hal muttered, whispering things under his breath.

I leaned forward, trying to understand what he was saying, "What?"

"Never mind... I won't interfere with what goes on between the two of you but I do have one request. Please keep the brawling to a minimum. I don't know if it's common for your species to quarrel but you took quite a beating. You had me concerned."

"I'm part Irish… we have a habit of challenging others," I tried to joke but it went right over his head. He obviously didn't know much about humans. So I reassured him, "You can trust me, I have no intentions of doing any sort of fighting any time soon."

"Good. Because I noticed some red blood stains around the ship and that is extremely unsanitary. Especially since you like to tread around barefoot… which I will suggest you stop doing too. You could easily catch a virus. So I took the authority of sterilizing the cargo bay, the hallways, and even your bathroom."

I shot him a disgusted look, "You were cleaning in my quarters while I was sleeping?"

"I had to. Otherwise you would have never let me. And you know how I am with germs."

_Congratulations Hal. You just went up a touch on my weird-o-meter. _

"I also have access to some antibiotics that could help speed up the process of healing."

"Actually," I shook off his weird obsession with sanitation, "that would be great. The sooner these heal, the sooner I won't get mocked by my darling brother."

"And if you need more time to recuperate today, let me know and I can cover some of your duties. Just… take care of your injuries."

"Thank you Hal, I will."

"I…," he leaned over and wrapped his arms around me, "I would hate to lose you. You're the only friend I have ever known." He gave me a small squeeze, rubbing his cold visor against the side of my head.

After the initial shock of my mechanic hugging me wore off, I hesitantly put my hands on his back. I was confounded that he was even touching me. Come to think of it, I have never seen him touch anyone before. He's too much of a mysophone, afraid of every kind of germ out there even though he was confined to his enviro-suit. Even more surprising was how he hardly reacted to the mixture of blood and medi-gel seeping through the back of my shirt.

When he pulled away, I was expecting him to freak out any moment, especially since I could see some of my residue on his suit… but he didn't. He stood up and started backing away, "I'm going to go. If you need me, for anything at all, I'll be in the engine room."

"Okay, Hal," I nodded, watching him retreat towards the door.

As soon as I was comfortably hidden under the sheets, I heard my door creek open again. I figured it was either Hal bringing me the antibiotics he spoke of or Lyrik coming in to further discuss where we stood. But I was wrong… horribly wrong…

"Why didn't you tell me?" Josie cried out.

_Oh no… please don't tell me you somehow know about the whole ordeal between Lyrik and I. Damn! How in the hell does she know? Wait… maybe I'll just act stupid._

I pulled away the blanket covering my head and looked directly at her, "What are you talking about?"

"Why didn't you tell me Qwentin called?"

_Phew! She doesn't know! She just cares about my brother calling… wait… of all the times she could bug me she has to do it now? Oh, she's going to pay…_

"I was checking the call log just now and noticed his number… Did he say anything about me?"

I rolled my eyes, "Are you SERIOUSLY asking me this, Josie?"

"Yes. I want to know if he mentioned me."

"No!" I sat up furiously, "Now leave me alone."

"Are you sure? He might have dropped some hint about me or maybe you were too groggy to tell since he did call pretty early. What did you two talk about?"

"Josie, please," I begged her, "Leave me alone… I'm exhausted."

"But…"

"I can assure you that we didn't talk about you. We only discussed business matters."

"But…"

Before she could ask another idiotic question, I threw one of my pillows at her and screamed, "OUT!"

Josie jumped aside then began taking a few steps towards the door, "Fine… I can see you're not in the mood to talk. I'll be back later."

"ARGH!" I screamed as soon as she left, falling back on my pillows. "CAIT?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"Do you have a program to get people to leave me alone?"

"No… I can prevent viral bugs from penetrating my system but I do not have any programs to keeps pests from interrupting you."

I giggled, "Pests… good one, CAIT."

"Logging you out."

Using my remaining pillow, I covered my head and slunk back into the comfort of my blankets. I had to wait until my heartbeat slowed down before I could close my eyes and drift into slumber. Thankfully, no one else entered…


	11. Chapter 9: Harmless Intentions

Chapter 9: Harmless Intentions

November 13th, 2185

Against the protests of the crew, we were docked at Omega for the night. Typically I avoided having my ship near a location filled with gangs, especially since I have collected bounties on many of them in the past, but tonight I had one thing on my mind… Afterlife.

I threw on my black hoody and snuck out of the airlock. Carefully walking in the shadows from the docking bay to the doors of the VIP entrance, I did my best to avoid the residents crawling around the hallways. I was constantly checking behind me to make sure I wasn't being followed. With all the batarians and vorcha Omega had, I couldn't be too cautious. I quickened my pace when I saw the stairs leading up to the VIP lounge.

"Xora!" someone called out from behind me, causing me to freeze in place.

I turned around to see James Vega heading my direction, walking away from a table with three batarians and a krogan. We knew each other from the Alliance. I cannot count how many bar fights we started here on Omega. It was nice to see that he hadn't changed much. His short mohawk complemented his brawny shoulders and I could still see the outline of his tattoo crawling out from the sleeve of his shirt.

"You can't leave the game!" a batarian screamed in protest.

"I'll only be a second," he responded, shaking his head, "What are you doing on Omega?"

"Needed my fix," I removed my hood and shook my hair back, "How could you tell it was me?"

"I'm observant."

I tilted my head at him.

"Fine… I caught a glimpse of your tags," he smiled, pointing at my necklace.

I had nearly forgotten that it was a gift Lyrik gave me a few years back. I was getting frustrated with the standard chain the Alliance provided me, it was constantly in my way. So Lyrik stole my dogtags, had them attached to a black choker, and gave it to me as a birthday gift. I still haven't forgiven him for causing me to go insane from searching for them.

"Hurry up!" one of the impatient batarians yelled.

"You should come join us for a game," James suggested.

"And lose all my earnings to you? I think I learned my lesson."

"I'll go easy on you."

"That's what you said last time."

He had a smug look on his face.

"It's okay, James. Maybe the next time I'm on Omega."

"I'll hold you to it." As he was about to walk away, he stopped mid-step and returned his attention to me, "Actually, I was going to forward this to you when I had a chance but since you're here…" He pulled out a packing slip from his pocket, mentioning, "I found something you might be interested in. It's a package you will want to intercept."

"I think I'll pass," I replied, trying to refuse the piece of paper, "I've had my fair share of unknown parcels at the moment."

"Trust me, Xora, you'll want this one," he insisted and I took the slip.

"Fine, I'll see what I can do. Now you go clean out all those batarians bastards for me," I smiled, pulling my hood back over my head.

He shot a smirk in return and assured me, "You know I will."

I jolted up the stairs and nodded at the bouncer at the door. He immediately recognized me and let me enter. The music flooded the room, making it easy for me to become lost in the rhythm. I surveyed the VIP lounge and found a speaker hiding in one of the dark corners.

_Perfect._

Navigating my way through the patrons in Afterlife, I made my way over to the isolated speaker and stood directly in front of it. I closed my eyes and placed my hand against the mesh over the cone. The bass pulsating against my chest, adjusting my heart beat with every punch. The vibrations slowly took control of my movements. Every muscle in my body began turning and flowing in sync with the beat, going limp and stiff like a puppet on stings.

Just as the music was beginning to consume me, I felt a hand lightly grab at my wrist. I immediately turned on my heel and pulled my arm back, ready to slug whoever dared interrupt me. I didn't expect to see my mechanic in his red and silver enviro-suit cowering from my aggressive stance.

"Hal?" I lipped, the music was too loud for him to hear me.

"I didn't mean to interrupt you," he leaned in, trying to talk over the speakers, "I'll go away."

"You don't have to, how about we go chat over there?" I asked loudly, pointing at the empty booth near the bar. He nodded in agreement.

I flung the hood off my head, running my fingers through my hair. I took up one side of the booth, propping my legs up on the bench and lounging my arms across the top.

"Well, you caught me Hal. And I thought I was being stealthy," I laughed, thinking about my failed attempts of sneaking away.

One of the asari waitresses came up to our booth and her blue eyes lit up when she saw me, "Xora, haven't seen you on Omega in a while."

"Yeah I know, it's been awhile, how have you been Mariana?"

"Same ol' shit, Omega never changes. Want the usual?"

"You know it," I shot a smile at her.

Mariana turned her attention to the quarian sitting across from me and asked, "And you?"

"I'm good, thanks."

"Suit yourself… I'll be back with your drink, hun."

Hal just stared at me with his glowing eyes so I had to ask, "What?"

"I thought you hated asaris."

Mariana came back holding a shot glass and a bottle of my favorite liquor, "Here you are, darlin', my treat."

"You are too kind," I smirked.

"It's the least I can do. And Xora, if you feel lonely later, let me know," she gave me a wink as she strode off to the next booth.

I could feel Hal glaring at me through his mask again, "It's a long story."

"Shorten it."

"I was drunk," I shot back, filling up my glass.

"You slept with an asari?"

"I thought she was a human… didn't find out until the morning after that she wasn't."

"The fringe wasn't a dead giveaway?"

"I thought it was really coarse hair!"

He shook his head.

"What? There are a lot of things you don't know about me."

"Obviously… it must have been one hell of a night since she's giving you free bottles."

"It, um," I tried muttering the rest under my breath, "happened more than once…"

"What?"

"I can recall three separate times I got really drunk and woke up next to her…"

"No wonder she's so nice to you! But… if you thought she was human the first time, what were you thinking the other times?"

I shrugged, unable to remember distinctly why it happened.

"Xora, I thought you were disgusted by the sheer thought of humans mingling with other species. And yet here you are confessing to sleeping with one… a biotic no less!"

"I know," I pouted, "I am the perfect definition of a hypocrite.

"It could also have something to do with your drinking."

"I do drink quite a bit," preparing my next round, "With that aside, what brings you to Afterlife? I typically don't see you wandering into bars."

"That depends."

"On what?"

"How drunk you are."

"Why?"

"Because it'll make what I have to say easier."

I recalled having a few drinks before leaving the Dolus Bia. I looked down the neck of my bottle and noticed I was already half-way through it. Also, the sensational tingling in my fingers and how the lights around me blurred together nicely was a clear giveaway. I definitely had a good buzz going. I smiled, "I would say I hit a sweet spot."

"Okay, well, I followed you here. It's not the first time either. I know how you always come up here and dance in front of the speakers whenever we arrive in Omega."

_I don't know how you do it Hal… but you manage to get creepier by the day._

"So you followed me here… to watch me dance?"

"Usually that is what I do but…"

"But?"

"Tonight I actually…" he fumbled with his hands, "wanted to try dancing with you."

"I didn't know you danced."

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me."

"Touché," slamming down another shot, grunting as it slithered down my throat. "So why did it matter if I was drunk?"

"I knew I would have a better chance if you were."

"A better chance? To dance with me?"

"Well… no. I mean yes, I mean… when you drink…" he took a long pause, frightened by the next series of words.

"Out with it," I spat.

"When you're drink, you get 'friendly.'"

I laughed.

"I've been noticing a pattern with your behaviors."

"Oh," I gawked, "Enlighten me."

"You said you were drunk when you slept with the asari waitress."

"Yeah, and?"

"I know you were binge drinking the night Lyrik encountered you in the hold."

"Yeah…"

"How many other instances have there been when you were drunk and ended up getting involved with someone else? And how many of those instances have been with humans?"

I started rolling through the Rolodex in my head, thinking of the other "friendly" encounters I have had while intoxicated. The numbers began stacking up and he was right… the quantity of partners that were of a different species outnumbered the times I was with another human. I sunk into my seat, muttering, "You're right."

_Damn, I never thought about that. What the hell is wrong with me?_

"I figured that since you were 'friendlier' while under the influence, that I could finally have my chance with you. I know you're with Lyrik and I envy him for having you… I promised I wouldn't interfere but it would mean everything to me if I could have you for just one night."

"Why do I get the feeling you're withholding information from me, Hal?"

"Am I that obvious?"

"For someone in a full body suit… yes."

"I don't think I should say it."

"You're going to… otherwise you wouldn't have even mentioned it in the first place."

"I'm in love with you Xora. There, I said it. Finally," he blurted out with a sigh of relief.

"I… You are IN love with me? Wait… finally? How long have you been waiting… um…" the shock was making it difficult to piece together sentences.

"When we were first restoring the Dolus Bia. I couldn't stop thinking how amazing you were. You were smart, beautiful, and shared the same passion about ships. Everything I could ever dream of…"

I started repeatedly pouring shot after shot. Hoping the alcohol would void out everything he spilled or wake me from this hallucination.

"I always kept my distance since you were constantly saying how much you disapproved of interspecies relationships. But then Lyrik broke your barrier. Maybe I shouldn't have waited…"

"I don't know what to say…," I stuttered, "I'm sorry I didn't know you felt that way and I…" I couldn't bring myself to mention how I didn't feel the same way. I always saw Hal as a really good friend. But I thought the exact same thing with Lyrik… or did I? I was always more open with him and found myself being closer to him than anyone else, maybe I do have feelings for him after all.

"It's okay. We can't be together anyways. I've come to terms with it a long time ago."

I paused, trying to make sense of his denial. Curious, I asked, "Why can't we be together?"

"Because I'm a quarian! I'm not as hardy as any other species and, to add insult to injury, I'm a mysophone. Even if I threw aside my fears, I know my immune system is too weak. Any interactions between us may cause me to become severely ill, there's even a chance of fatality. I'm cursed to remain quarantined in this suit, without ever feeling the pleasures you take for granted every day. You don't know what it's like… being forced to be celibate. I will never get the chance to touch anyone with my bare fingertips, to taste their lips upon mine, to embrace their body with mine."

His statement resonated in my thoughts. I felt like an ass for not realizing it sooner, how he sees all the freedoms we get to experience while he was confined to his enviro-suit. I actually felt bad for him. All the things we take for granted was out of his reach.

"Keelah! I knew I would never get the chance to be with you… especially now. Even if I wanted to risk everything, it wouldn't be fair to you. We all make sacrifices and I gave up the one thing I knew I wanted… you. So I watched you from the shadows, knowing no one would notice me. Followed you to Afterlife, just to see you dance and secretly wishing I joined you…"

_Poor guy… Stuck in that suit every day and night, watching the rest of us do things he could never experience. He had feelings for me all this time and denied it just so I could be happier with someone else. In return, all he ever wanted was one dance with me. I don't know if I should be doing this… _

I chug down another shot and placed my hand on top of his, "Hal, you said you just wanted me for one night… for one dance… right?"

"It would mean everything to me."

"Then let's make that wish come true… dance with me."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded, "Yes, it's just one dance."

_I guess there's no harm in being nice…_

I could have sworn I saw him smile, hard to tell through his mask. I scooted out of the booth, feeling light-headed for a brief moment as I stood up, and lent my hand out to Hal. He cautiously took it, following me to the dark corner in front of the speakers. Letting go of his hand, I faced away and closed my eyes. The music sent shockwaves through my body, guiding it to flow in rhythm with the beat. Every pulse moved my hands like I was orchestrating a symphony and directing the rest of my body to follow. Once the mix of alcohol and music took full control, I could feel Hal's hands gently grab my waist.

_Remember, Xora… harmless…_

I crossed my arms and placed my hands on top of his. Feeling his body close in on me, I slow down my movements. He pushed his hands forward and around my stomach, wrapping tightly against me and pulling me closer to him. I allowed myself to lean further back into his chest. Swaying our hips together, we were in sync with the melody.

_Don't get carried away… I know I should stop… but… _

As I felt his chin rest on my shoulder, I shot a glance at him from the corner of my eye and noticed his glowing eyes were shut. He lightly attempted to rub his face against mine, having difficulty in judging the distance with his mask in the way. I decided to take it a step farther, against my better judgment, and return the affection. I placed my hand on the other side of his mask and pushed it gently against my cheek, nuzzling him.

_Screw it… It's just for tonight so do whatever comes natural… Give him a night to remember…_

Without breaking his grasp, I twirl around to face him. His glowing eyes opened and stared at me confused. Placing my hands on the sides of his stomach, I directed his hip closer to mine. My wandering eyes suggesting my intentions.

"Should we stop?" he asked with uncertainty.

I shook my head no.

"Why?"

"Because you made the ultimate sacrifice, even if I didn't know about it. No one deserves spending every day suffering over the love they lost. It only seems fair that I do this for you, even for one night."

"But you are with Lyrik, doesn't this feel wrong?"

"What am I doing wrong? It's just a harmless dance with harmless intentions. This night is yours, Hal."

"Thank you," he whispered.

The alcohol finally caught up with me, causing everything within my vision to blur. The lights in Afterlife glowed, leaving a trail behind every source. Every feeling surging through my veins felt enhanced, each nerve ending sending pulses of ecstatic proportions to my central nervous system. This was the moment I lived for… when I could sense all the movements surrounding me. It was rare for me to get this heightened alertness but ever since the first day I discovered it I've craved another.

Allowing my addiction to take over, I stared at Hal like a predator, "I know you won't be able feel this like I do but hopefully your imagination will fill in the holes."

I push my hands up his chest and around to the back of his neck, wrapping my arms around him. Pulling him directly against my body, Hal's breathing quickened. His heart pounded against his suit, harder than the bass in the song echoing in the VIP lounge. I began nuzzling my nose against his neck, pressing my lips against the rim of his visor closest to his ear. He excitedly gasped, his fingers curling into my jacket.

I couldn't tell if I was torturing him or if he felt everything I was doing somehow through his suit. So I decided to turn my actions down a notch. I guided my lips away from his mask and slunk my head down his neck. Finding solace in resting my chin in the crevasse of his shoulder, I closed my eyes and waltzed until the song ended.

He took my hands into his, slowly rubbing his thumb against my skin, "You have giving me more than I could have ever wished for. I will treasure this night forever… But, you really shouldn't have. I know you belong to Lyrik."

"You keep saying that but it doesn't feel like it. He hasn't done anything since that night," I regrettably mentioned, "In fact, it feels like he's been avoiding me."

"That's not the case, Xora. Lyrik is madly in love with you. I will even confess that his admiration is stronger than mine could ever be. He's just torn over forcing himself onto you. He doesn't want to take any chances of ruining everything he's fought to have."

"Then I am certainly not helping…" staring at my reflection in his visor.

"Don't worry about tonight. As you stated, all we did was dance."

I attempted to give him a smile but only one side of my lip curled up. "Maybe I should stop drinking."

"You should… but you won't."

_He's right. I can say it… but I doubt I'll ever do it._

"Thank you for tonight, Xora… You have given this quarian more than he could have ever wished for."

He brought his hand to the side of my face, tracing the curve of my jaw with his fingers. He took a few steps back and began heading out of Afterlife.

"Goodnight, Hal," I whispered.

I stood there for a brief moment before returning to my booth. The bottle sat waiting for me, aching for me to refill the shot glass next to it. I stared at them, contemplating over their ability to influence me.

Mariana strode over, asking, "Ready for another?"

I looked at her alluring azure eyes. They seemed to sparkle under the red lights of Afterlife. Her pale blue skin had freckles along her shoulders and the dark tattoos on her face complemented the spots along her fringe, making her more distinctive among the other waitresses. She was breathtakingly beautiful for an asari. No wonder I ended up waking up beside her.

Maybe Hal was right about me suppressing my feelings towards other species.

I returned my gaze back to the near-empty bottle, "Actually, I think I'm good."


	12. Chapter 10: One For The Road

Chapter 10: One For The Road

November 17th, 2185

The packing slip James Vega acquired led us to small warehouse located in the Factory District of the Citadel. I still didn't feel comfortable about intercepting the package, especially with the ordeal we all experienced a few weeks prior. But he insisted…

Since the pickup wasn't for another five hours, I decided to stop by my favorite liquor store on the Citadel. Even though I was slowly cutting down on my consumption of alcohol, our poker party was tomorrow night. The game wouldn't feel the same without a few drinks… it seemed like tradition. Plus, the shop was run by a friendly elcor that I enjoyed talking with.

"Joyfully: Xora. It has been a while since I have seen you," the shopkeeper acknowledged me the moment I walked through the door.

"I know. I know. So how's business, Willhem?" I asked giving him a quick wave as I walked past the counter.

"With pleasure: Good. Sales have been steady."

Grabbing two bottles and stuffing it between my arm and chest, "That's great to hear."

"Curious: Are you getting supplies for your poker game?"

"You know it! We're stuck at the Citadel for a few days waiting for the next contract. Just have a package to retrieve first," picking up another bottle, I brought them up to the counter, "Do you still have that one wine I got last time? Josie liked it so much she wants it again."

"Delighted: Yes. It's on the aisle to the far right."

As I went down the aisle to grab Josie's wine, all I could think about is how Lyrik acted when I asked him about the poker game. He nervously rubbed at the back of his neck, trying to explain how he would think about it. Then he continued on mentioning how he needed to be somewhere… or was it about getting something… it was hard to tell with him mumbling. I've never seen him behave this way.

Oddly enough, Hal was behaving happier than usual. Typically he locked himself away in the engine room but he was striding around the Dolus Bia with a skip in his step… as if he was dancing. Watching him waltz around with his imagination, all I could do is tilt my head at him. I guess he was right… spending one night with me, even if it was just one dance at Afterlife, would mean everything to him. There was so much I could learn from him, hell from any quarian. Learn to actually really appreciate things.

I squatted in front of the various bottles of wine, trying to remember exactly which one it was. Scanning through each label, I finally discovered the one with a small design of an asari dressed as a goddess. As soon as I leaned over to pick it up, I overheard some yelling coming from the cash register.

Quietly I peeked over the shelves and noticed a scrawny dark haired man with pale white skin screaming at Willhem, demanding to give him the contents in the register. Dodging back under the safety of the rack, I shook my head at the turn of events.

_Just my luck! _

There was an indescribable feeling within my gut. I don't know if it was my instincts or something else but I could have sworn I have seen the crook before. I opened up the screen on my omni-tool and slyly took a quick photograph of the criminal. Squatting back down, I submitted the image to my ship.

"CAIT," I whispered into the transmitter.

"Yes, Captain."

"I need you to look at the image I sent you and tell me if he's coming up in the registry."

"Checking… the image is a match for a Nicholai Stange. A bounty for his arrest has been issued for failure to appear in court. Prior convictions include theft, destruction of government property, and aggravated assault with a biotic amp."

"He's a biotic?"

"Yes."

CAIT said the magic word… A wicked grin curled on my face, emulating the ideas racing through my head.

_I can easily take this guy down, without a doubt. Or at least stall him enough until the twins get here. So I think I'll have some fun with him. _

"Wonderful. Send Tren and Kero to my location. Advise them to bring the handcuffs."

"Understood, Captain. Logging you out."

After shutting down the transmitter, I carefully moved around the corner of the aisle. Using the shelves as cover, I discreetly made my way towards the thief. His attention was directed at Willhem, making it easier for me to sneak directly behind him. I placed my finger up to my lip advising the elcor behind the counter to keep my existence silent.

When I became dangerously close, I stood up directly behind him. Holding back my every urge to laugh, I composed myself and got into character. I removed my sinister grin and replaced it with an annoyed smirk. Rolling my eyes, I let out a loud sigh. Nicholai jumped at the sound and immediately turned around to investigate. Utter confusion consumed his face. He couldn't understand why I was impatiently standing behind him as if I was waiting to check out.

I looked at my watch and sighed again, "Could you hurry up?"

"Excuse me?" he asked frazzled.

"Could you hurry up? Some of us have places to be. The nerve of some people," I rolled my eyes again.

"Are you naturally blonde or something?"

"Are you?"

"Let me put it in clear English for you, sweetheart. I'm robbing this place."

"Really? I couldn't tell. I figured you were some angry patron trying to get his money back. And don't call me sweetheart."

"Listen, if you want to keep that pretty face of yours, I suggest you leave… now."

"Eh," I shrugged, hardly amused.

He crept towards me and attempted to spook me, seeing if I would flitch. Since I didn't budge, he scoffed, "What? Am I not threatening to you or something?"

I shook my head, "Nope."

"Why not?"

"You don't have a gun."

He laughed, "I don't need a gun. I'm a biotic, I have the L5 implants."

"Good for you," I sarcastically gawked, "But you still don't scare me. Hell, I bet you can't even hurt me."

Without hesitation, he attempted using his biotic abilities to push me away. A blue glow rose from his body and came charging at me but the moment it hit my skin, it dissipated. His eyes widened with fury. He tried again, this time putting more energy into it. Yet he received the same result. His jaw dropped, he was dumbfounded.

"See, I knew you were harmless."

"What… I… I don't get it," he stuttered, trying to make sense of his failure, "I know I can… that's not right… YOU!"

I looked around the liquor store, to see who he was calling out. There wasn't anyone else so I pointed at myself, "Me?"

"You must be a freak!"

"Now that's not a very nice thing to say," I pointed.

In an act of desperation, he cocked his arm back and attempted to punch me. Dodging out of the way, I snatch his wrist and used it to twist his arm behind his back. He tried reaching behind with his other arm, clawing at whatever he could. Just as I grabbed his other hand, he caught hold of my choker and pulled on it. With a loud snap, my necklace tore away.

"Hey!" I screamed… pissed.

He squirmed harder, using all his might to try prying himself away. Fed up with this loser, I kick his legs out from under him and his face planted the floor. I crossed his arms against his back and stomped down on them with my boot, digging my heel into his ribcage.

As I was searching for something to tie his hands up with, I notice out of the corner of my eye a liquor bottle with a blue glow. I put my arms up in time to block the flying glass container. The bottle shattered when it hit me, leaving me drenched with the strong caramel odor of whisky. The liquor stained my clothes and… soaked my pack of cigarettes.

_That's it! You asked for it!_

"Hey Willhem, put that bottle on my tab. In fact," I grab a wine bottle by its neck from the stand next to the counter, "Add this one too and I'm sorry for the mess."

"With concern: What mess?" the elcor asked and I could faintly hear the distress in his flat monotone voice.

"This one," with a loud shatter, I slam the bottle against Nicholai's head. "Doesn't feel very good does it?"

He slipped his hands away and immediately brought them to hold the blood dripping from his head. Screaming in pain, "You bitch!"

"You should have thought about it before you threw that bottle at me," I spat at him, giving him a firm kick to his side. The more I dwelled on the damage he caused... the more the anger pulsed through my veins… the more desirable it became give him another forceful blow from my boot… for my choker, for my cigarettes, for the hell of it…

Just as I lifted back my leg, I heard my name being called over my shoulder. I peered over and notice my two crew members coming to my aid. Tren snatched the beaten human from the floor and his brother cuffed him.

"About time you two showed up," I sighed.

I brought my hands up to fix my messy hair and stopped when I heard Kero gasp. He stared at me, "Um… Xora?"

"What?"

He pointed at my left arm. I glance down and notice a little shard of glass sticking out of it. The adrenaline from the fight must have blocked out the pain. But now that I acknowledged it… the injury was gut-wrenching. I gritted my teeth and pulled the shard out. Taking a deep breath, I attempted to distract myself from the aches shooting up my arm.

"What do you want us to do now, Xora?"

I turned towards Kero, "Well, Tren and I will turn this fucker in. You can grab our items from here and bring them to the ship. Afterwards, you both can go retrieve that damned package."

"Sounds good," they agreed.

I grabbed the torn pieces of my necklace as I finished retrieving the rest of the necessities for the poker match. Willhem placed them into a box and said how grateful he was that I came to his aid. He asked if there was anything he could give to reward my deed. So I asked if he could add a carton of my cigarettes. The moment he placed it inside the box, I snatched a pack from it and took a cigarette out.

_I need one for the road or I swear I'll kill someone… probably the bastard who broke my chocker… soaked a whole pack of cigarettes… and made me smell like a bar. If that fucker tries anymore stupid moves, he'll be damned lucky if he makes it to C-Sec in one piece…fucking biotics… _

As soon as we returned back to the ship, I streamlined straight towards my quarters to take a shower. I felt sticky… such an unusual feeling for human skin. And even though I enjoyed the faint smell of vanilla in my drink, I did not enjoy smelling like a whole bar. Washing away the residue from the whisky proved tricky, especially since I limited the use of my left arm. The cut was barely noticeable but I still exercised caution. I guess I picked that up from my grandmother.

When I finished getting dressed, I heard a knock at the entrance to my room. "Come in," I hollered, taking a quick peek around the bathroom door to see Tren entering. He strode over and leaned against the doorframe. I continued going about my business, grabbing the roll of gauze I set aside prior to my shower. "What's up?"

"Well… it's about the package you sent us to pickup."

"What of it?"

"Well… you should see for yourself."

"What's wrong with it?"

"There's nothing wrong with it. It's just… trust me, you'll know when you see it."

I shook my head, "Great."

After I wrapped my cut, I followed Tren to the cargo hold. Everyone on the crew was already there, staring nervously at the package. Immediately I could see what Tren was referring to. It was half black and half white with a yellow stripe going down the black side, it was identical to the crate that we delivered to Commander Shepard just larger… much larger… And this time there were Cerberus logos slapped on every corner.

_Shit._

His brother walked up to the mysterious parcel and asked, "What should we do?"

"Um… shit…" the memories of the last one vividly ran through my mind.

_Shit, shit, shit. This cannot be happening… not again…not this soon… Damn you, James! I'm going to kill you… But he would never put me in harm's way. Or would he? What is so special about this package? There has to be a reason…_

"Scan it," I dreadfully requested.

"WHAT?" They all questioned, their wide eyes fixed on me.

"You heard me. Scan it."

Hal began preparing his omni-tool to discover the crate's contents. Cautiously he brought it up to the side and began scanning. We all clenched our eyes and waited for the worst… but nothing happened. His omni-tool beeped and he stared at it confused. "It's coming up as organic."

"Organic? Like there's something inside?"

He shook his head in agreement.

"Open it."

Before the twins could get near, Lyrik stepped directly in their path and stopped them. His eyes locked onto mine, "Have you lost your mind, Xora?"

"Maybe I have."

"I'm not going to allow this to happen."

"Oh yes you are."

"No! You are not going to endanger yourself or this crew!"

"Stand down, Lyrik," I sternly commanded through gritted teeth.

"I will not!"

"You were my quartermaster before things between…" I caught myself mid-sentence, nearly letting the hidden details of our relationship slip. I took a deep breath and calmly continued, "Listen, Lyrik. We can stand here all night and bicker or you can obey a direct order. I am in no mood to delay the inevitable, so let's just deal with this right now."

"Fine!" he angrily shook his hands in protest and stepped aside.

The twins carefully began prying the door open. The first thing I could see was a pair of glowing gold eyes… then a low growl echoed from it. The creature crouched down, studying the bright surroundings outside of its domain.

Inching forward and trying to get a better view, I got too close for the mysterious creature. It leapt out, pouncing directly onto me, and pinned me down on the floor. Its mouth latched onto my left arm… but it wasn't biting down or digging its teeth into my injured limb. I instantly recognized the beast… it was a varren. It was a rare beige colored varren with purple spots scattered across its side. There were a few scars across his body with the largest one over his left eye.

"Xora!" Lyrik cried out, running to my aid. He tried to pull the varren away but it didn't budge. "Tren, Kero, help me pull this beast off her!"

"No!" I commanded, staring directly into the golden eyes above me. "Leave it alone. It's not attacking me. Trust me."

My quartermaster stopped what he was doing and quietly watched as I subdued the creature. I placed my free hand on top of its head and gently pushed it away. The varren stepped back, freed my arm from its mouth, and sat down. I propped myself up, using my bent legs to lean against. The varren nuzzled his head forward and began licking the gauze wrapped around my wound.

"So you noticed that I got hurt. That's from earlier today… you had nothing to do with it," I rubbed its forehead. It stopped licking my arm and perked its head up. "Wait, you can understand what I'm saying, can't you?" I asked and it nodded its head. "Is that why I see Cerberus's logos all over that crate?" It cowered down. "Don't worry, you are safe here. We aren't going to let the big bad guys from Cerberus harm you. As long as you behave yourself, you are a part of this crew now."

"I hope you aren't serious, Xora," Hal interrupted, "Do you know how unsanitary it is to have an animal aboard a ship? Especially a varren."

"Yeah, Xora, this is a bad idea," Lyrik added.

The varren hung its head, offended by the disapproval from my fellow crewmembers. I turned towards the others to ask for their input, "What do you think?"

Tren and Kero talked amongst themselves before stating, "We're okay with it."

"And… I think it's cute," my pilot added, "So we should keep it."

"Looks like you two are outnumbered. Plus, I'm captain, so whatever I say is law," I returned my attention to the varren patiently sitting in front of me, "Welcome to the crew… you are going to need a name."

_Hmmm… what should I name him? Well, let's see… He is obviously a male. Maximus? Nah, I can do better than that… He has a mark across his eye. Scar? No… too obvious. Think harder, Xora… For some reason, he reminds me of a __humble vaudevillian veteran cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. _

"Fawkes."


	13. Chapter 11: Winner Takes All

Chapter 11: Winner Takes All

November 18th, 2185

The pungent stench of various alcohols perfumed the cargo hold. The poker table had stacks of gaming chips and playing cards scattered across. Grey streams of smoke danced from the cigarettes perched on the ashtrays sitting in front of the circle of players. Their ghostly mist lifted towards the paneled ceiling and created a comforting haze in the atmosphere. The loud laughter resonated throughout the ship, validating another successful poker night. Everyone on my crew was joking around and having a grand time… the way poker ought to be played.

"And then she said, 'That explains why I couldn't sleep right for the next week,'" Josie chuckled as she slapped the poker table, her face turning bright red from the liquor in her system. She found her tale to be hilarious but the rest of us… not so much, especially the barely conscious mechanic using the table as a replacement pillow.

I grabbed the deck from her and began shuffling the cards, "Alright, who's in?"

The krogan twins simultaneously stood up, grabbing their remaining chips and their nearly empty bottles. Tren groggily shot, "You cleaned us out enough tonight, so we're turning in."

"Fine," I directed my attention to the dozing quarian, "Hey Hal! What about you?"

"Is it Thursday?" he asked, bolting straight up in his chair and shaking his head in an attempt to return to his senses, "Oh, I'll… I'm… leaving a message, goodnight." His barely legible words staggered from his translator, his body uncontrollably wobbling around. As he stumbled away from the table, he bumped into Kero's back. He clung onto his arm and used him as a guide while exiting the doorway.

_You're making it really hard to not laugh, Hal. That has to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen you do. _

"Okay, Josie, please tell me you're in for another round?"

"Me, no," she held up her hands in protest, "I'm going to steal Fawkes and use him as my cuddle buddy."

I glared down at the new varren crewmember curled up around my feet, "Cuddle buddy? Really? Are you her _cuddle buddy_ now?"

He looked up at me, resting his long chin on the top of my knee.

"Oh come on, Fawkes," Josie patted her legs, "I have some treats in my room."

Immediately the varren bolted from under the table and followed the pilot out of the room.

"Traitor!" I belted, a little offended at how quickly he choose treats over his new master. Gazing across the table, I notice only one other player in the cargo hold… Lyrik. "Wow, I didn't know I could clear a room so quickly," I scoffed, trying to lighten the air but the room went completely silent.

Lyrik and I sat quietly at the poker table. The awkward tension between us summoned a deafening silence to haunt the room. There was no noisy banter from the crew to drown out our bashful advances. No varren companion to bail me out. Just him… and me… I could feel his eyes staring at me but I couldn't bring myself to return the favor. Things have still been… weird… since that fateful night. I had so much to say but I felt restrained and could never get past the first initial step. I yearned to have another open conversation but I froze the moment any words attempted to leave my lips.

We occasionally would nudge each other accidentally but nothing too extraordinary. Yet every time he brushed up against me, I envisioned the way his fingertips felt against my bare skin, the warmth of his breath against my neck, the rough caressing of his lips against mine. I was cursed to relive that night in my thoughts even as he sat only a few feet away.

_What's wrong with me! I am usually so confident… but something about him… about us… makes me question everything. _

Boldly taking the reins, Lyrik's voice broke the barrier, "Well, it's just the two of us."

"Indeed," still refusing to greet his eyes with mine.

He took a deep sigh, regrettably asking, "You're not trying to avoid me, are you?"

"It's kinda hard to avoid you when we are stuck on a ship. And no, I'm not."

"Okay," relieved, "But things have felt really different between us since…"

"Yeah, I've noticed," I interrupted him, summoning the silence to return.

Bringing my gaze up, I noticed a familiar sight. Lyrik's green eyes begging me for something… anything… the same look he gave me after we first met and he showed up at the door of my hotel room. It was perfect déjà vu. His hungry stare bellowed loudly, reflecting his disappointment on our current relationship status and his desperate thirst for my affection.

No matter how much the alcohol affected my vision, I could see his reaction clearly. I knew things weren't going as he expected but it wasn't his fault… it was partially mine, if not entirely mine. I was still pushing everyone away and making things difficult between us… and the rest of my crew. Displaying my harsh authoritative nature with the whole varren ordeal, I knew it wouldn't be long before my negative consequences started burning bridges. But the nagging voices in the back of my head were constantly at war and becoming harder to drown out. One reminded me of the costly toll to be paid if I continued my pursuit to avenge my parents and kill Jack. The other voice suggesting I move forward with the turian quietly sitting in front of me.

Noticing I had a few shots left in my bottle, I took a swig and permitted the liquor to fuel the smile curling on my face. Shuffling the deck of cards in my hand, I asked, "Do you want to play a few rounds before turning in?"

His eyes lit up, "Sure. What did you have in mind?"

"Well, how about we play 5-card draw until I finish this," shaking the near empty bottle.

He nodded, immediately moving to the seat next to me.

After I dealt out the cards, I grabbed my pack of cigarettes and took one out. The moment it dangled off my lips, Lyrik's lighter flickered before it.

"That was fast," taking in a deep puff of smoke.

"It's the least I could do."

I shot him a smirk before picking up my hand. Knowing I was going to win this round, I proposed, "How about we make it interesting?"

"Aren't we already by drinking?"

"You know what I mean, Lyrik."

"Okay, what were you thinking?"

"How about winner gets to do whatever they want? From asking a question to just having a simple request. And whoever wins at the end gets something special."

"Like what?" his mandibles twitched.

"Hmmm… I'm thinking something like an informal agreement."

"So it's similar to an IOU?"

"Precisely. The winner can use now or later and it's good for whatever they desire."

The excitement in his tone said it all, "You have yourself a deal."

Our eyes dashed between our gazes and the cards in our hands. When we picked up the replacement cards, we carefully studied our opponent's reaction. I barely won the first round with a pair of queens.

"First, we drink," I held my bottle up. We took a hearty swig and I continued, "As my bidding, I ask for your permission to put my legs up."

"You don't need my permission to do that," he remarked, confused from my miniscule request.

"But," I raised one of my eyebrows, "I want to rest them on your lap."

Without any hesitation, he immediately sat back in his chair and patted the open area on his lap. Propping my legs up and crossing them on his thigh, I wiggled in my chair as I got comfortable. His breathing quickened and he produced a loud gulp, revealing his approval of my request. I folded my arms and took another drag of my cigarette, boasting, "Your turn to deal."

Lyrik dealt out the next hand, slowly placing each card on the table. His eyes distracted by the flesh perched on his legs. Taking my replacement cards, I sneered at my failed hand… absolutely nothing at all. He showed his three of a kind and before he even says anything, I already took the shot.

"I have a question for you."

"Oh?" I asked, feeling the effects of the alcohol begin to take its toll.

"Are you ready to start seeing our relationship… go forward?"

Without any hesitation, I admitted, "Yes. I only asked you to give me time to adjust not to completely halt."

"Good to know, I was growing impatient," his raspy tone hinted a sense of relief.

After he slid the deck towards me, he rubbed his talons on my legs. Slightly gazing the claws against my skin, he sent tingles up my nerves. Every touch became ecstasy and I was begging for more. All the senses that plagued my thoughts were no longer imaginary… they were being awakened by his touch.

_This is what I've been waiting for… This is what I want…_

After a few moments of bashful glances, I felt his other hand creep over towards mine. Carefully prying my palm open and entwining our fingers together. His thumb casually mingled with mine, embracing every touch I returned. Gently squeezing our clasped hands, I welcomed Lyrik's warmth against my palm.

"It's your turn," he reminded me, smirking.

"I know," with my free hand I dealt our cards, "I was merely distracted."

"You could let go."

"I could… but I don't want to," I admitted and Lyrik squeezed our locked fingers. I felt his excitement of our sudden change in relationship vibrate from his touch.

Taking a look at my cards, I noticed I had a good hand and a chance of winning. I devilishly bit my lip as I pulled the replacement cards. My confidence skyrocketed when I discovered they were exactly the ones I needed. I had the game in the bag. But then we revealed our hands…

"I lost?" I was stunned. "How could my straight lose to your full house? ARGH!"

"I didn't make the rules."

"I know, I know… well, you won. What would you like?"

"Actually, I'm going to save my IOU."

"What?"

"You heard me," he smirked, "We're both tired so I'll just use it when I feel the time is right."

"Suit yourself," I shrugged as I slammed down the last bit of alcohol in my bottle. The intoxication pumped through my veins and warmed my skin, my head felt light and woozy… it was time to pass out. I removed my legs from his lap and praised him, "Good game, Lyrik. Now I must call it a night."

As I got up, I felt the dizziness hit me harder than a baseball bat. My quartermaster immediately got up and tried to aid me, "Do you need any help getting to your room?"

"No… I'll be fine," I slurred, stumbling forward and bracing myself against the wall. After a few deep breaths, I took a couple more steps but the dizziness returned.

_Nope. I can't do this._

My knees began buckling beneath me and I felt myself losing control of my legs. I clenched my eyes fearing the worse.

Before I even realized what was going on, the weight on my knees disappeared. Instead of feeling my legs quitting on me, I felt a smooth swaying motion rocking me. Opening my eyes, I discovered I was lounging in the safety of Lyrik's arms.

"I got you," he smiled, peering down at me.

Letting my exhaustion take hold, I closed my eyes while he carried me to my room. His warm body felt welcoming against mine, reassuring me that I was in good hands. I don't know if it was the alcohol or the connection that was growing between us but I felt at peace with him. I wanted nothing more than to feel his loving embrace. Begging for his warm touch, I began nuzzling my cheek against his chest. I could hear the beating of his heart answer back. Each thump echoed in my ears like a lullaby and comforted every muscle in my body, making me completely limp in his arms.

The familiar scents of my room bombarded me as he carried me through the door. Laying me down gently on the bed, I noticed how close his face was to mine. Our eyes instantly locked, frozen as we stared at each other. I wanted him. No longer confused by my emotions, he was the element missing in my life. It wasn't vengeance; it was love… his love… that would fill the void.

"I don't know if you'll remember this but… I love you, Xora," he whispered, his green eyes glowing from the ambient light coming from my computer.

Bringing my hand to visit his face, I rubbed against the traces of his mandible. Gradually I brought his mouth closer to mine and guided my fingers to the back of his head to the spot below his fringe. His lips were only an inch away… his warm breath dusting my skin with its presence. Right before our mouths joined, I lipped, "I love you too, Lyrik."

Our mouths welcomed each other, our tongues exploring the flexibility of their contender. No longer strangers to foreign territory, we knew exactly what our counterpart wanted. His tongue massaging the tip of mine, his hands embracing our locked jaws, his heavy breathing rushing against my skin as our passion consumed us.

When our mouths parted ways, a wicked smile curled on my face. The immense pleasure lingering on my lips was yearning for more. Slightly short of breath, I pleaded, "You did win the game… you could use your reward here."

"But I already did," he whispered, grazing his nose against mine.

"What?"

"You have already given me what I desired… a moment of redemption. The chance to reclaim my love for you…"

Before another word was spoken, he brought his mouth to greet mine again. The docile nature of his kiss sensually made every nerve littered against my body tingle in delight. The passionate caressing of his lips made every second burst with ecstasy. I felt all the love he restrained deeply penetrating into my very soul, making up for the time lost.

The moment he broke our bond, I felt incomplete. My body violently yearned for more, clenching tightly onto him and waiting for his loving reply. But he didn't respond… he pulled away, muttering, "I guess I should let you sleep. Goodnight, Xora."

He began walking towards the door when I sat up and cried, "Stay!"

"What?" he asked confused.

"Lyrik, I've been thinking about you non-stop since that night. I've been… aching to feel your touch… your arms around me. Please, spend the night with me and don't ever leave. I have grown… dependant of your touch," I whimpered, watching his frozen eyes stare at me in disbelief.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I nodded, "Even if you need to get something from your room, you can… I'll wait for you. I'm not going to change my mind."

He shook his head in disagreement, "I don't want to leave."

"Why?"

"Because I'm afraid I'll wake up… finding out that this was all a dream," Lyrik confessed, coming towards my bed.

He stood quietly near the edge, still waiting for the moment I change my mind and turn him away. Instead I scooted my body into the center and made room for him to join me. Hesitation still shined in his eyes, he was cautious to not overstep his boundaries. I comforted his tension by placing my hand atop his and guiding him to lay behind me.

When he lied down, he slowly wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to his chest. It felt awkward having someone on my bed. So many nights spent alone with nothing more than the comfort of my pillows. I nudged myself to fit the shape of his body and felt his hot body temperature warming my back. The heat soothed every ache and pain my tired body accumulated over the years. Feeling the calming sensation overcome me, I lose consciousness the moment I closed my eyes.


	14. Chapter 12: Detour

Chapter 12: Detour

November 23rd, 2185

What another uneventful day. It was business as usual, spending most of my time sitting in my seamless captain's chair confirming payments and responding to messages. Thank goodness that chair is so comfortable or I would be miserable right now. The only issue with all the "paperwork" is how I lose track of time. It was already 23:40 Citadel time, meaning I spent at least twelve hours sitting around staring at the orange hologram hovering over my lap… strangely feeling like I have accomplished nothing at all.

Since nearly everyone on my crew turned in already, I decided to call it a night as well. As I was walking down the hallway to my quarters, the panel to my room was only a few paces away when I came to an abrupt stop in front of Lyrik's door. I couldn't deny the irresistible urge that venturing into his room appeared more tempting than simply retreating to mine.

_Am I really tired? Or can I take a quick detour? Is he even awake still? More importantly, if I went in what would we do?_

The more I contemplated, the more I desired breaking my better judgment. I would be waltzing in uninvited yet I didn't think my quartermaster would protest. Especially with our actions becoming progressively more open between us. A brief caress here, a gentle nudge there, slowly but surely we were boldly experimenting with how far we could reveal our odd relationship.

As the door quietly slid open, I caught a glimpse of my turian companion messaging someone at his desk. Something immediately triggered my full attention… he was without his shirt. I have never seen a turian's torso before. The first thing I noticed was the tattoos down his chest. They were the same deep purple color as his facial markings and similar in their tribal pattern. I couldn't tell if they were meant to synchronize together or if he got them separately later on in his life. One thing was certain… my infatuation with his tattoos captivated me and I couldn't resist staring at them.

_Damn! Come on Xora… keep your composure. Remember why you came here… oh shit… why did I come here? Quick, say something._

I knocked on the wall, a little late for introducing my entrance, "Can I come in?"

"Absolutely! I was going to finish responding to these messages and then come find you."

"So for once I beat you to the punch?"

"You can say that."

Sneaking closer to his desk, my curious gaze shot over the list of messages he was replying to. Noticing my interest, Lyrik quickly exited out of his inbox. He wasn't fast enough to prevent my eyes from coming across a very familiar name… my brother's. Within an instant my mind blossomed into a million different questions, all wondering why he was contacting Qwentin. My face revealed the thoughts racing, failing to disguise my harmless glance.

Before I could refrain, the words jumped out of my mouth, "Why are you contacting Qwen?"

My quartermaster looked away, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "I assure you its nothing to fret about."

"I'm merely curious. I've never seen you message him."

"You also have never looked over my messages," he smartly replied.

Being caught red-handed, I pouted my lips, "Touché."

He sat back in his seat, gleaming, "Granted, you never sneak into my quarters to begin with… which piques my curiosity, what brings you into my room this late at night?"

"Answer my question first."

"I don't need to," he casually addressed.

"Why?"

"The reason will reveal itself in time. Trust me. Good things come to those who wait."

"Clearly," I sighed, cursing my impatient nature.

The clever turian tilted his head, "So will you now share with me why you have decided to intrude into my chamber?"

"Well…" I questioned my response, wondering if I should return with a witty remark or if I should be forward. Knowing the answer would affect the outcome of this encounter, I only had one urge aching to be satiated…

"Well what?"

My gaze shied away from his as I bashfully admitted, "I figured since you were always visiting me that I could return the favor."

"It's certainly a nice surprise," he grinned, "Now that you are here and clearly have my undivided attention, what's next?"

"I haven't exactly gotten that far yet… I guess I could grab some coffee for us…"

"Don't. The last time you tried to make some you ended up breaking the machine. If anyone gets us coffee, it would be me. That's why I'm here after all."

I smiled, "Among other reasons."

"No, that's all," my quartermaster joked, "How about this… is this something you want from me?"

The question loomed over me. I knew exactly what I wanted but couldn't express my intentions clearly. Any attempt to grasp hold onto the thought was quickly diminished by my nerves. Every encounter prior to this I was able to use alcohol to fuel my actions… but now that I was sober I couldn't bring myself to do anything.

_What the hell, Xora? Usually I have no issues in taking whatever I want so why can't I just take hold of this situation? This is so unlike me… he's right there and my body is aching loudly for his embrace yet I cannot… do… anything… _

Lyrik's emerald eyes caught my inner thoughts arguing and asked, "Would you like some encouragement?"

"Maybe just a little," I admitted, bringing my fingers up and using them to measure out an inch.

Without any hesitation, the turian hopped out of his chair and strutted towards me. As he towered over me, he took my hands in his and entwined our fingers, "Is this helping?"

"I'm still drawing a blank."

Slowly pulling me closer with our clasped grip, he brought his mouth to my ear and gave it a gentle nuzzle. His warm breath tickled the skin of my lobe as he whispered, "How about now?"

"I don't know yet," the suppressed urges caused me to bite my lip, "Try harder."

The moment my request become vocal, he freed his hands from mine and directed my arms to wrap around his neck. Then in one swift thrust, he planted the palm of his hand on the small of my back and forced our hips together. His abrupt action triggered my deepest desires to surface. The ache for his kiss consumed my thoughts. I wanted nothing more than to feel the rough caress of his lips against mine. The only thing that stood in my way was precisely how to achieve this…

"And now?" he growled, his sharp teeth lightly grazing the ridge of my ear.

"It's starting to come to me," I whimpered as every one of his touches pleased my epidermal senses. My body instinctively clung onto his, eagerly begging for more.

As he began worshiping the nook under my ear with his mouth, every tender caress and each gentle nibble sent my heart racing. The further he trailed down my neck, the stronger the beating became. When he reached my collar, he stopped and pulled away. Gazing at me with curious eyes, he wondered how far I would let him venture.

Leaning towards my mouth, my lips anxiously awaited his. The desire burned furiously as he shortened the distance. Feeling the ridges of his mouth brush lightly against mine, I longed for their joining.

"You're getting warmer," my lips teased his.

"Does this mean you actually enjoy kissing a turian?"

"Just shut up and kiss me," I responded and forced our gapping mouths together.

Immediately feeling the restrained emotions being set free the more I embraced his tongue with mine. I felt the strain of my work melt away the more we cherished our binding. The thought of wasting a majority of my day staring at documents was replaced with the unchained affection tingling in lips.

Lyrik slipped his hand down my legs and proceeded to lift me up. As he carried me in his arms towards the back of his room, he refused to break the bond between our months. From the corner of my eye, I could spot his bed coming closer. The moment he laid me down, the intensity of our passionate kiss exploded.

Crawling atop of me, the turian studied my reactions carefully and took into account any resistance I expressed. Taking my hands into his, he slid them above my head and teased my thumb with his. Pinned under his body, I could feel his hips grinding casually against mine. Every movement, every heave, provoked my desire to further our exploration.

"Xora," he broke away, panting against my waiting lips, "There is something I need to know… what do you see us as?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, aching for another kiss.

"Do you actually consider us as a couple?"

The question left me puzzled. I never thought about how to perceive our relationship. I didn't know if I would classify it as "being a couple" yet. Trying to direct our conversation elsewhere, I joked, "We haven't even had a date yet."

"I take it you aren't going to count any of the times I took you out in the past."

"Absolutely not… I didn't know those were dates so they don't count."

"Fine, how about I make you dinner tomorrow night?"

"I don't know," I bit my lip playfully. "I might need to ask for the night off from my boss."

"I'm sure she can make one exception," he inched his mouth closer to mine.

"I'm sure she could but she can be quite a pain," I breathed, feeling the outline of lips tease mine. Suddenly, it occurred to me… tomorrow we were docking on Terra Nova. The instant the thought crossed my mind I pulled away and stared at with him wide eyes. "Actually… I'm sorry… it'll have to wait," the severity in my tone brought all of our current actions to a stand still.

"What? Why?" he pleaded, concerned about the sudden change.

"I have somewhere I need to be tomorrow…" my mind began drifting, plagued with the memories of returning to my home.

"Then let me go with you."

"This is something I would rather do alone."

He sighed, "You're going to have to let me in one of these days, Xora. I want to be there for you in every way possible. It's difficult if you keep pushing me away."

"I know, I just…" I couldn't think of a valid reason, every thing that popped up only was some excuse to avoid his company, "I'm sorry… this is personal."

The atmosphere in the room felt heavy as Lyrik pulled away and shifted his body sit on the edge of his bed. He rested his elbows on his knees and leaned forward, staring vacantly at his two-fingered hands. His emerald eyes appeared to be on the verge of tearing up. A sense of disappointment loomed over his head. It was apparent how devastated he was that I pushed him away… yet again.

I propped myself up and crossed my legs underneath me. I watched him quietly twiddle with his fingers. The constant need to do things alone put a strain on our relationship, no matter if I considered us a couple or not. I always refused to allow anyone to get too close, I always figured I could things myself… but now times were different and my actions needed to include the turian sitting beside me. If I wanted anything more to continue, I was going to have to take that plunge.

"Terra Nova," I whispered, the words slipped out with a bitter taste. I hated saying the name out loud. "We're docking in Scott tomorrow."

Lyrik turned his gaze towards me, "Why are we docking there? I know you hate visiting that planet."

"I know," I scooted towards him, "It's just been awhile since my last visit. It's time I go and see… them… again. It's time to let the memories haunt me once more."

"Why shroud yourself in so much darkness?"

"It makes me appreciate the happier things in my life," I placed my hands over his and studied their differences, "Like you."

"So I do make you happy?" his mandibles twitched.

"Of course you do."

A loud sigh of relief exhaled from his lungs as he leaned forward and rested his forehead against mine. Nuzzling my nose with his, his happiness was reflected in his affection. He wrapped his hands around mine and I could feel the warmth radiating from his fingertips shroud around mine. The depth of our connection was growing, I could sincerely feel it. I simply needing to continue breaking the box I sheltered myself in… it was time I let someone into my lonely world.

As we sat quietly with our foreheads joined, I couldn't stop staring at his chest. The tattoos continued to captivate me. Breaking our silence, I questioned, "I have to ask… do your tattoos mean anything or is it normal for turians to get them elsewhere?"

"No, it's not as common as it is with humans but some turians do have additional tattoos," he leaned back and began tracing the tribal pattern around his collar, "I got this one shortly before joining C-Sec, as a way to celebrate my current achievements."

"What about this one?" I asked with my attention latched onto the X inked over his heart.

"That one? Well, it's a very special tattoo…" his hand curled around my fingers and placed it over the symbol.

"What does it represent?"

"It's fairly obvious," he hinted.

"Wait, is that supposed to be for me?"

"I can't tell you yet."

"How come?"

"It's personal…"

"Hey, I told you my personal matter. The least you could do is at least share why you have this X over your heart."

"I promise I will tell you later."

"That's not fair! I've been answering all your questions yet you have haven't answered any of mine!" I pouted in protest.

"I will answer the question… when the moment is right."

"There's no way to coax it out of you is there?"

"Nope," he chimed, drawing his lips towards mine and distracting me away from the issue.

"But," I tried pulling away but got caught into his web.

"You were the one who told me to shut up and kiss you," the sly turian smirked.

"I hate you," I growled.

"No, you don't," he bound our mouths together and could feel my anger fueling our continued exploration.

_Damn you… you know just how to shut me up. _


	15. Chapter 13: Raining

Chapter 14: Raining

November 30th, 2185

Slowly turning the handle, the door creaked open to reveal a depressing sight. Dozens of spiders scurried back into their nooks, their webs twinkling from the sunrays creeping through the blinds. The furniture was caked in dust and the air was heavy with their particles wondrously drifting to their unknown destination. Their grayish existence littered across the room, only stirring when I make my bold return. The faint outline of footprints trailing across the floor could still be seen, marking my previous visit.

The memories flooded my mind, stinging with growing intensity the more I dwelled on each one. The shadows I fought to avoid seeing began creeping across the walls, being awakened by my presence. I could hear them cackling at me… their voices bitter from my lack of communication. Whenever I came back… "home"… I always fell silent. I simply couldn't bring myself to speak. Any time I tried, the words I spoke were nothing more than gibberish. Not to mention that the moment I opened my mouth, the repressed feelings I stored away all these years would come pouring out and cause me to break down emotionally.

As I shut the door, the last ounce of bright sunlight flourished and left me in the dim room. Suiting the overall atmosphere, the shadowy enclosure felt like a catacomb. I trudged through the powdery carpet and came across the base of the staircase. Looking up at the bedrooms, I could faintly visualize a younger version of my brother storming past the doors and dashing down the stairs towards the kitchen. This was common whenever we were summoned for dinner… the only time we were guaranteed time with our parents. The vivid illusion left me weak and on the verge of collapsing.

Finding solace at the bottom of the staircase, I sat down with my trench coat trailing between my feet and my hands dangling off my knees. I shut my eyes and concentrated on the muted groaning of the house settling. It's welcomed stirring eluding the deafening silence. Once I was able to summon enough energy, I dug into my pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. The edges were worn away and exhibited signs of continuous use.

Carefully prying the paper open, it revealed an old photograph… the last known image of my parents. They were sitting next to each other on the front stoop, smiling. My father had his arms around my mother as she held one of her beloved roses from the bush outside the main window. My mother loved roses… so my dad planted that bush for their anniversary. I stared at the photograph and fought every urge to cry, the tears welling up in preparation at the base of my eye.

Before I could get too carried away in my thoughts, I heard a creak come from the front door. I instinctively brought my hand to the holstered pistol on my hip and waited for the intruder to enter. I was beginning to draw my weapon out when I heard a familiar voice.

"Xora? It's me…" Lyrik announced, "Are you here?"

I could hear the door closing, followed by his footsteps heading towards my location. When Lyrik passed the center beam, he quickly noticed my ghostly figure sitting on the stairs.

"Oh good, you are here," he smiled, "I thought you could use some company… wow, it doesn't look like anything in here was ever changed or moved…"

I glared at him, unable to say a word.

"Are you okay?"

I directed my attention back to the photograph in my hands and gave him a slight nod, confirming my acceptable state. He took a few steps up the staircase to see what my hands disclosed.

"You look just like them," he mentioned, pointing at my parents.

Fighting even harder to keep the tears at bay, I got up and continued up the rest of the stairs. Lyrik waited below, watching me with concerned eyes. I held out my hand as an invitation for him to follow. He took hold and I led him to the room at the end of the hallway.

The room had photographs scattered across the wall, mostly of my grandfather and the ships we discovered at the boneyard. There were books piled on the table next to the bed and strewed over the desk by the window, primarily non-fictional stories about adventurous captains and encyclopedias about ship building. The shelves were filled with model ships that I spent hours building and action figures from some of my favorite movies, still in their original packaging. This was clearly my room…

Directing Lyrik to settle himself on my bed, I was on a mission to dig out a priceless artifact. Shuffling through some papers in the lowest drawer of my desk, I pulled out a pale blue binder with the words "My Wonderful Life" written with a permanent marker on the front. I took a seat right next to my turian companion and laid the binder on my lap, prepared to take him on a journey through my past. One page after another, I revealed parts of my life that no one knew about. Photographs of every single thing I cherished, ribbons from my accomplishments, personal notes written from a simpler time (even confessionals about my teenage crushes and my first kiss)… all stored in this time capsule.

As I continued flipping through the pages, my eyes conveyed the heartache each image triggered. Lyrik could vibrantly see my distress and began rubbing my back, hoping it would help quell the spirits stirring within.

Mustering enough strength to break the silence, I admitted, "This is what I was fighting for… revenge for the life that was stolen away from me. But the need for revenge is a funny thing. It won't bring back the dead nor will it bring them happiness. It was all because my heart wanted justice… it's what my heart wanted…"

My quartermaster stared deeply into my injured brown eyes and asked, "Xora, where do you think your heart is?"

Without taking a second thought, I looked down at my chest and placed my hand over the center.

"If you want to be literal about it, sure… but, my father taught me that it's more a state of mind. It is right here, not inside our bodies at all," he motioned his hand around his head as he began explaining his supposition, "A heart is created between people when they meet for the first time, a bond that is brought to life between individuals. It's an emotional connection. When you think about something or care about someone, that's where your heart is born. If you were the only person who existed in this world, your heart would have no way of forming so it wouldn't be anywhere."

He took my hands into his and gazed at me tenderly, "If you believe with all of your heart that you belong somewhere, then that is where you'll stay. For me, I believe with all of my heart that I belong with you… so I will always stand by you, even when you push me away. I want to be there to help you push away all these dark clouds and make the skies clear for you once more. I want to give you the happiness that was taken away and replace your haunted memories with the great ones we'll have together. Because this is where I belong," he promised as he pressed his forehead gently against mine.

Feeling his hands clasp around my chin, I whimpered, "Your father taught you all this?"

"For the most part."

"He sounds like he was a very smart man."

"Yes, he was," he smiled, nuzzling the tip of my nose with his, "I wish you had the chance to meet him."

When Lyrik mentioned this, I realized there was still something that needed to be done. I pulled myself away and hopped off the bed, returned the binder back to its hidden location and started heading towards the door. I stopped mid-stride and turned towards the turian quietly watching my every move, advising him, "There is one more place I need to visit… and I… would like you to join me."

"Okay," he acknowledged and followed me down the stairs.

After locking up the quietest house on the block, I picked out two roses from the mangled bush growing in front of the main window. I breathed in their amorous aroma before proceeding down the long walkway towards the end of the neighborhood. The kids living in the area paused and quietly watched as a tall turian and a lady in a trench coat walked past their houses. Continuing on with their playful nature the moment we were far enough. The whole time we didn't say a word… we just continued venturing silently next to each other until we stood in front of the entrance to a gated cemetery.

Pushing the heavy iron gate forward, I paced down the aisles of tombstones and crypts. I knew the way by memory… 27 rows down, 15 spots to the right. Finally stopping in front of two marble markers, their names carved into the dark stone, "Audrey Anne Patrone" and "Gerald Lee Patrone."

I placed one rose at the base of each tombstone and as I stepped back, I told them, "Hey mom… dad… I know it's been awhile since I visited. Been busy with, well, pretty much everything."

I glanced over at the turian standing beside me before continuing, "I want you to meet, Lyrik. We've known each other for a long time… he's my quartermaster and helps me aboard the ship. We stopped by the house… everything is still there, where you left it. I still can't come to terms with cleaning the damn thing though. Qwen keeps telling me I should at least trim your rose bush."

Taking a moment to chuckle at the petty arguments my brother and I have, I read over their names once more and peered over at the people resting in peace nearby. The graves in this cemetery held most of the victims from the Sirta Foundation attacks. The only ones who weren't buried here were those with special permission to be plotted elsewhere. Sirta covered all the funeral expenses but did very little to help the families effected. I know I wasn't the only child left without a mom or dad… there were others just like me. Their parents buried in the earth next to mine. The pursuit of justice that fueled this entire journey began trickling back into my thoughts but this time the feeling wasn't as overpowering. There was a subtle sense of resolution… a sense that I finally found the answers I was looking for.

"I'll tell Qwentin to stop by when he gets the chance. With how things are becoming, I'm not sure of what the future holds. There are reports every day about mysterious disappearances and entire systems starting to go silent. I don't know when I'll stop by again either but I want you both to know that… I finally found where my heart belongs," I confessed, taking into account Lyrik's supposition. The tears were successfully forcing their way out and were violently refusing my every attempt to stay back. In protest, I stared up at the azure horizon and whimpered, "Oh look… it's raining."

Lyrik gazed up confused. The sun of Terra Nova was brightly shining as it began setting behind the towering city of Scott in the distance. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, nor was there any chance for precipitation. Trying to make sense of the situation, he started saying, "It's not raining…" but immediately stopped when he noticed the tears crawling down my face. He hung his head down and paused. Then his hand reached out to find mine. As he delicately took my fingers into his, he gave a tiny squeeze in consolation, "You're right, it's raining."


End file.
